#can i mention how much i LOVE these drawings

[txttletale]

hello...what is this "eidolon playtest". i thought it was perhaps some kind of MTG since you like that and "playtest" but then i keep seeing like.....random character art. is this a tabletop thing. is it mtg and i just dont understand mtg. i know i can probably google this but jt seems like something you wnjoy and id like to hear you talk about it :^)

eidolon playtest is an actual play series in which the creators of the ttrpg 'eidolon: become your best self' and their friends -- as the name implies -- playtest aforementioned TTRPG. it has a pretty interesting format in which the same GM runs two separate campaigns for two different parties which slowly become more and more intertwined until they start crossing over directly. so far they have two pairs of campaigns finished, eidolon POP and ROCK (seasons 1 & 2) and eidolon SKA and DISCO (seasons 3 & 4), and season 5 (eidolon VGM and EDM) currently ongoing. they also have a couple of short mini-campaigns of 3-4 sessions each, which i'm not going to list all of because there's a lot.

eidolon playtest is really good for so many reasons i can't possibly provide a comprehensive account but here's some:

the tables are really, really good at taking something and running with it. the number of goofy, seemingly one-off jokes that get called back to and built up and end up becoming extremely serious and plot-critical has to be in the double digits by now

there is very much a lack of... for want of a better word 'preciousness' to the play -- like, one of the things i really don't like about dimension 20 is that because there is an entire production staff making all these little minis and sets, right, there is an investment and a need to put the money in front of the camera, it's basically impossible for e.g. combat encounters to be skipped or for anything to go too 'off the rails'. meanwhile in eidolon everyone will get excited when someone pulls a fucking insane plan out of nowhere that radically reshapes an encoutner, or when someone rolls/draws badly and something awful happens -- i fucking love that kind of play, where everyone is excited to see cool shit happen whether it's bad or good, and the eidolon playtest team do it really well

the characters are really good and bounce off each other really well. something i commented recently is that i love diska for the fact thaqt nonoe of the players are afraid to have their character just be a huge cunt sometimes. every campaign has some amount of interpersonal drama and it always seems like the players are really excited to have it, too. there are conflicts, some get resolved, some don't, some spiral into irreconcilable differences, some pave the way for extremely close bonds.

eidolon, the system (especially the 2e version that's used for diska onwards) is a great system which encourages fun and cool things to happen. every character has a jojo-style extremely specific power, which means that fights aren't boring slogs of people rolling dice (i hate combat in actual plays that use wargames, lol, even games with well-balanced combat systems that are fun to play often make horrible audio) but instead wacky and consistently dramatic encounters where the players make clever and creative use of their powers to take on a freak-of-the-week

the cast is just really damn good! i mentioned how the characters on all the shows have ineresting and complex dynamics, but even apart from that there's just so many characters on this show that i'm genuinely attached too, so many memorable and interesting pcs and npcs.

the show is funny as fuck!! constant laugh out loud bits throughout every campaign, often alongside the extremely heartfelt or dramatic ones. i've been refernecing a bit from eidolon disco so much recently it's been driving oen of my gfs crazy (you can buy rat poison for free at the store)

i, yknow, go back and forth on whether to mention this when recommending it bc i'm sure that the eidolon playtest folks don't, like, want to be pigeonholed as A Trans Podcast or whatever, but, like, when it feels like every AP podcast that advertises itself or is advertised as 'super queer' is like, two cis gay people and maybe one transmasc if you're lucky at an otherwise super cishet table -- it is such a breath of fresh air to listen to an actual play with a legit preponderance of transfem and nonbinary players playing all kinds of trans and queer characters.

tldr: its like homestuck but good

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

On Good Behaviour 4

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, threats, age gap, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: after release, you try to get on the right track but your new boss isn’t much help. (ex-con reader)

Characters: Loki

Note: My sinus is inflamed but I can't stay home bc the squatter's gf is coming today.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You fidget behind the desk. Restless. Horrified. Why did you do that? 

The biggest lesson you learned in prison was to forget your pride. Leave it behind and muddle through. It took a lot and it wasn’t easy. That’s exactly what you need to do now. 

How far did you get and he’s going to spoil it all? You can be mad that he pushed you, that he touched you, but you can’t let that anger get the best of you. You know what happens when you do. 

You grip the edge of the desk and stand. You go to Laufeyson’s office door. You swallow down your agitation and knock. You let out a long breath. 

You almost knock again as you await an answer. When he opens the door, he stands back, noticeably so. 

“Should I prepare myself for a second assault?” He snickers. 

“Mr. Laufeyson,” you begin, “please, tell me you didn’t call Dina.” 

“She did not answer. Yet.” His eyes flick up and down derisively. 

“Please, don’t. Please. I’m so sorry. You know how badly I need this job and I’m trying--” 

“Oh, yes, you put a rather lot of effort behind that slap--” 

“It wasn’t--” You stop yourself and shake away the protests. “No, I did. I hit you and it doesn’t matter why. I’m sorry. I really am, I promise it won’t happen again.” 

He tilts his head and smirks. He slides his phone of out his jacket pocket. A timer runs on the screen. 

“Well then,” he taps the big red dot. “Now that we have that on record...” 

“What? Why... Please, Mr. Laufeyson, don’t--” 

“Let us get the order of things. Firstly, you do not tell me what to do. Second, I do know how sorely you require this position, and finally, should you want me to keep this to myself,” he wiggles his phone, “and give Dina a glowing review of your performance, you will do everything I say. More than that. And you will be sure to thank me after for all the grace I’ve shown a pathetic wretch such as yourself.” 

You withhold a glare, bristling at his list of demands, not to mention his insults. You are entirely powerless. You know it, he knows it. It’s clear that he won. Another lesson from prison; know how to lose without losing everything. 

“I understand, sir,” you utter. “I will not argue. I will listen and do whatever you tell me.” 

“Do you understand?” He slides his phone into his pocket as he grips the door frame. He stares at you. You frown as sweat beads on your neck. 

“I think...” you murmur. 

“So, when I tell you to turn in your panties, you will do so?” He opens his other hand expectantly.  

You look at his palm. Your brows draw together in confusion. The air sucks out of the room and the walls pulse as they get closer and closer. You lift your eyes to his face. His smirk says it all. 

Your heart thumps, so hard you feel it behind your ears. There were guards inside. If you let them put their hands up your shirt, you could get extra shower time. You hold back a shudder and set your chin. 

You push your skirt up your thighs and hook your thumbs under your panties. You roll off the plain cotton and step out of them silently. You clutch them tight before you shove them into his hand. His fingers close around the fabric and your hand. 

“You forgot something,” he taunts. 

You swallow, “thank you, Mr. Laufeyson.” 

“You will look my in the face,” he commands. 

You lift your gaze and wave on your short heels, skirt still rumpled around your thighs, stomach hollow and boiling. “Thank you, Mr. Laufeyson.” 

He snorts, “very good, darling,” he tugs the panties free of your grasp and unfolds them. He tuts, “you will find something more... alluring.” 

You search his face, hoping it’s just a play. Like the woman who stands in your cell door and spits on the floor, making herself known. He doesn’t relent. 

“Yes, sir, I will.” 

“And a skirt with a little less... reticence, yes?” 

You’re not entirely sure about that word but you get his meaning. You force out the same surrender, “yes, sir.” 

“Very well. I trust you understand me thoroughly. You may return to your work. You’ve a long day ahead.” 

You nod and back away. He stays in the door. You feel him watching you. You fix your skirt before you sit and hold back the tremble itching under your skin. You stare at the monitor, away from him so he can’t see the wobble of tears along the brim of your eyes. 

💼

There was a day in prison when you decided you didn’t want to live that life anymore. When you looked around at all those women who were on their second, third, or lifelong stint; who accepted it as their fate. You remember it clearly. Out in the yard, hands behind your head, stomach to the pavement as the guards shouted and broke up the bloody fight near the fence. 

Laying in the gravel, sun beating down, listening to the crack of bone on bone, the snarls of anger, you knew that was it. You either sink into the pit and let the muck drown you, or get out and turn it around. Like the prison counselour said, you’re still young enough. 

You really believed that. Up until now. Up until you’re sitting at that keyboard, typing to keep from thinking, crushed beneath the will of a new warden. Serving a new sentence you earned. 

Your knuckles tingle. So dumb. How long did you work on your anger? How many hits did you take inside and swallow down. You want to be better but maybe better isn’t for you. 

You wince as the door behind you opens. You don’t react otherwise. You keep your eyes on the screen, fingers moving. You finally got the admin down to a tee, not there’s new duties you’re not sure you can handle. 

You tense as Laufeyson sighs and stands behind you. You expect the touch this time. Dread it. His hands settle on your shoulders and knead. He hums as he leans in to read the screen, his stomach pressing to the back of your head. 

“I must say, your style is not without merit,” he purrs and drags his fingers along one shoulder. He tickles along your neck and up your cheek. “And you do learn rather quick...” he trails back along your shoulder, “though you might have more experience than I could know.” 

He follows the length of your arm as he comes around the chair. He snickers as you draw back from the keyboard. Your muscles tauten and your bones lock. You would stare at the wall when the guards touched you. You only reacted when then went for your pants. 

“It has been a stressful day,” he drones as he lifts your hand, “I do find myself a bit stiff.” 

He turns his back to the desk and brings your hand to the front of his trousers. You flinch as he pushes your palm against his hard length. Disgust curdles in your stomach as you gulp. 

“You might think of a way to ease the tension,” he peels his hand away and leans on the desk. You don’t move. You just stare at your hand. “Well...” 

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson,” you shift and wheel the chair towards him. 

You move mechanically. You grip his belt buckle and unlash it. You let it hang from the loops as you open his fly. He wiggles as your hands brush his trousers. You tug down the zipper and blink. You steel yourself as you withhold the quiver crawling beneath your skin. 

Don’t show fear. For all the hits you took, the ambushes, the screaming in your face, you learned that you do not show how afraid you are. You just keep going. 

You pull his trousers down past his bulge then curl your fingers over the top of his silken boxers. You could roll your eyes. Of course he must have everything perfect. No cotton for him. 

He groans as you stretch the elastic over his tip and tug them down to rumple with his trousers. He bobs before you, shamelessly. You let a long breath through your nose and grip him. He jerks and gives a soft hiss. 

“I know it is your nature but do not be cruel, darling,” he reaches to pet behind your ear. 

You nod, “yes, sir.” 

You keep a firm grip but not so tight. You pump up to his tip and hear how he sucks his breath in. He rescinds his touch to push back the tails of his shirt as you work him in a slow rhythm. He watches you as he sets his feet. 

Heat scalds from the meeting of flesh. Flowing from your palms, up your arms, across your chest and blazing in your face. There were some women inside who tried too. A bunk mate you didn’t have for very long. 

“Oh, darling, you have quite the touch for a beast.” He cooes. You can’t help but stop yourself. You grip his base and look up at him, a flicker of defiance. He smirks and tilts his head. “You’ve something to say?” 

You inhale again, “thank you, Mr. Laufeyson.” 

You fall back into tempo. You feel his pleasure building as he squirms. His fingers curl under the edge of the desk as his chest rises and falls shallowly. His little purrs itch in your ears. He rasps and drones as he dips his chin down. 

“You don’t want to make a mess, darling,” he warns. 

You look up at him. He grins and brings a finger to your lower lip. He winks. You lock your jaw to keep from growling. You might bite it off if he tries. 

You roll closer as your hand goes tip to base and back again. You point his tip towards you as you hide beneath your lashes. You’re sickened, not only by him, but by yourself. You are weak and you have no one to blame but yourself. You robbed that bank, you ruined your life your own damn self. 

“Oh, yes, darling, you are divine...” he hisses and twitches. 

He cums just as you think to open your mouth. Some spills inside, most spurts up over your face. You close your eyes and let the slimy strings coat your face. You ease your motion as he flinches and groans. You peel away your slickened hand and show your palm as you sit paralysed and shamed. 

“Mm, yes,” you hear a tissue wisp from the box, “I do feel rather lighter.” 

You use your knuckle to clear a glob from your lashes and peek at him as he wipes himself clean. He crumples the tissue and leaves it by your keyboard as he stands. He fixes his boxers and pants and hums. 

“As you were, darling,” he checks his watch, “I believe that would be your break.” 

You gulp and shudder out a breath. Your voice scrapes up your throat, “yes, Mr. Laufeyson.” The air stagnates as he waits by his door. “Thank you.” 

You cringe at the last two words. He snickers. “Oh, you are very welcome.” 

He leaves you. You reach for the tissues and your water bottle. You wipe away what you can then go over it all with the tepid filtered water. You don’t care that you’re ruining your make up. It hardly matters. It’s all ruined now. 

You grab the wadded tissue he left behind and shove it all down into the bin. You swivel back to the desk and rest your elbows on it. You drop your head into your hands as your stomach clenches violently. Your nails sink into your scalp and your teeth grit. 

If you didn’t care, you would hurt him. You would grab him by his balls and twist. You would bite and claw him. You would put him on the floor and stomp him. Spit on him. 

But you won’t. You will obey. He will not be the reason you go back. 

[megamagimugi]

Yesterday was the first Mar10 Day and my birthday I got to celebrate here on Tumblr. And it was amazing! Let me just tell you all, I was blown away by the amount of love I got here from so many people. If I'm being honest, my birthdays IRL aren't really all that exciting, and tend to be lonely. I haven't enjoyed any of my birthdays for the last few years at all. This year I didn't even do anything to celebrate, and only got a little money as a gift.

But this little wholesome community we have here? It showered me with well wishes and awesome creative gifts, and collectively made my 29th birthday the very best I remember ever having! If Nintendo had done something nice for Mar10 Day, like giving us The Super Mario Bros. Movie sequel's teaser, it would have been perfect. But it doesn't matter. It was still the best birthday ever! And I want to personally thank each and every one of those responsible for making it so.

First, I want to thank everyone who gave me beautiful birthday presents. I got these fics:

@silenzahra's amazing fic An electrical aura rewritten from Mario's POV that I once asked her to write for a fanfic writing related ask game

@vulpixfairy1985's sweet and wholesome Mario & Luigi Brothership fic that she based on my seven (!) prompts from a drabble challenge (thanks for sending me the mandala as well!)

@silenzahra's another absolutely incredible fic Without him which was a complete surprise and probably the best birthday present in my life as it was inspired by my art! I still feel like I could cry just thinking about it, both because of this very fact and because the fic itself was the definition of an emotional rollercoaster (Zahra, my best friend and spiritual twin, the Luigi to my Mario - and I know this feeling is mutual - how can I ever thank you sufficiently for your two beautiful gifts and making my dream come true? more than one dream, actually? I'm so darn lucky to have you!❤️💚)

And then there's the art I got:

@bberetd's cute hugging bros (you're nailing the squishy hugs, my friend!)

@smokszyvverstar's smiley Mario and grumpy Ninja-Turtle-masked mini Bowser

@dreamyluigi's adorable and funny, but also somewhat bittersweet Mario and Mr. L mini comic which was also kind of inspired by my art so it's extra special!

@itsavee4117's quite literally sweet drawing featuring Mario and a birthday cake! I didn't have an actual birthday cake this year, so thanks for giving me one, Vee

@xnderx's adorable festive Mario Bros.

@stripetkattelalala54's fun and cute Mario carrying a birthday cake (that's right! I got another one🎂)

Next, I want to thank everyone who sent me birthday wishes or mentioned me in their posts:

@bberetd @silenzahra @peaches2217 @anartistwhowrites @elitadream @galaxygazer-lav @loud-kid2 @dragon-fly34 @galaxytitanbro @eleventhhourfactor @akiiame-blog @mrs-luigi-vargas @coffeecat1983 @roscolate @vulpixfairy1985 @kelbreyworshipper @heartholomewmewyeah @socially-inept-ghost @smokszyvverstar @pepperycar @doodleydoo101 @wiimapletreeway @dreamyluigi @okie-dokiie @itsavee4117 @xnderx @ask-physalia-prime @drones-of-innocence @stripetkattelalala54

As well as anyone I might have missed who wished me a happy birthday in tags or comments. As you can see, this is quite a large crowd and I'm both thankful to you all and slightly overwhelmed, hehe. I really love this community more than I know how to express❤️

Thank you, ALL of you, so much for making this March 10th a true Mugi Day!

Also, in case anyone has missed it but would like to check it out, I also made Mar10 Day art of my own!

[mechadotss]

There is this thing in fandom spaces I noticed where it doesn't really feel like a community anymore but more... corporate. The transformers fandom is not an exception. An artist having hurt feelings over their fanart being copied is not something that needs to be discussed under "what is legal" or not. We are not businesses trying to sue each other we are all people that like the same toy line.

As artists, the line of inspiration and plagiarism can be a fine line, however just like most things in life- Proper communication and acknowledging the humanity in each other is the proper way of dealing with issues like this. If you hurt someones feelings your first priority is making sure what that person needs to not feel hurt anymore. Not trying to damage control the situation to appease the public eye. BE CONSIDERATE OF THE PEOPLE YOU ARE SHARING A SPACE WITH.

I see people that make these fandom spaces feel weirdly cold and uncaring, So i decided to also take the time to mention and discuss my inspirations that helped me form my own voice when it comes to my transformers related art & writing- Because I think we as artist should learn on how to give back when we take inspiration:

DerrickJWyatt:

Starting off with the late Derrick- I enjoyed his unique and recognizable art style even outside of transformers, but it was Transformers Animated that became my first exposure to the franchise when I was watching cartoons- It's unique setting made me experiment with how I want my AU to feel like. I studied the concept art when I was trying to get a grasp on how I want my designs to look, which helped me create my own unique design philosophy that still feels like it is transformers while also being its own thing. His twitter is still up for those that want to see his doodles and fun ideas.

@disformer:

Incredible artist with the ability to make drawing robots look so effortless, which if you are an artist you'd understand how having the ability to make something look effortless- requires a lot of effort. The resources they posted are so incredibly helpful- This video he made saved my life when trying to draw these stupid robot ppl- recommended to anyone who hates drawing squares and is lazy <3.

@combaticon:

The- and I mean THE transformers writer. If you haven't read her work you are missing out because her writing comes from such a genuine place, where even tragedy and uncomfortable feelings are written beautifully to capture the complex and messy experience that is life. Writing that embraces queerness without sanding off the edges to make it appealing to the masses. Combaticon writes stories that can only be written at home, for you and your friends. It makes me enjoy sharing my own writing to connect with others in the same way her work spoke to me.

@drill-teeth-art:

Amazing and creative artworks that highlight body positivity not seen much in fandoms. Drill-Teeth creates Transformers designs that all look incredibly interesting, distinct and unique! Also just incredible artworks done digitally as well with a pen and paper. I have been getting into drawing more on paper myself because of the amazing work I saw drill make. (However my analog art could use some work </3)

There are more I could mention but I would probs be sitting here all day- I hope any artist who reads this decides to think about how they can give back to a community that inspired them. Peace and love everyone

[greeniegirl23]

Random Alastor Blurb Because I Love This Weird Radio Man PT#2 :3

(Welcome to part two of my silly lil blurbs! These will be random rant posts I make about Alastor whenever the ideas come to me. Love him and there are things, thoughts, and ideas I have about him that I would love to share!)

--------------------------------------------------------------

• Domesticating Alastor into a seldom amount of your modern habits is something we need to discuss.

• He was never one for tv, good heavens he'd love to see all of the blasted devices burn in a smokey heap until you introduced him to some of your favorite crime shows and podcasts.

•At first he thought it was interesting that you listened to crime podcasts as you went about doing daily chores like you weren't listening to the descriptions of a brutal murder, but as he listened along unbeknownst to you, he began to see a pattern. Drawing conclusions between you, him, and your favorite episodes, it was one of the most interesting ways he found out he was infact your type.

• By the first year of your relationship, Alastor is a dedicated crime show fan. Not because he enjoys the show, no no no, it's because he loves to brag about how he would have exacted the same crime but better.

• He won't openly seek you out and ask you to watch Criminal Minds, nor will he try to learn how to work your tablet in order to see how Olivia and Elliot stop the next bumbling idiot from dumping a body in a idiot area, those a cursed amateurs... However you noticed that most times when you decide to kick your feet up and indulge in a nice mystery, your boyfriend somehow manages to appear just when it's about to get good.

----------------

"Finally.." You sighed, kicking up your feet and grabbing your IPad off your desk as you sat in your shared bed with Alastor. "I can finally get back to this episode."

It wasn't even ten seconds after the intro theme played, five minutes as Spencer Reid mentioned that the unsub possibly was eating the lips of the women he killed after removing them from his victims.

"Maybe he ate them?" Said the brown haired man. "Eww?!" You gagged. "Who eats someone else's lips?"

"Exactly what I was thinking my dear! No cannibal- stop screaming - worth his salt would eat such a tasteless part of the body."

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were in a meeting with Charlie?!" You shouted.

He simply shrugged. "It was dreadfully boring, so I decided to look for you and found you here commentating to yourself as usual, so I figured I'd join you to make it more fun! However it seems like this will be a fruitless endeavor as well."

You snorted. "Since when do you like TV shows?"

He huffs. "I don't, but that doesn't mean I cannot commentate on the few that seem... tolerable."

"Well if that's the case, you're free to join me. As long as you don't talk my ear off too much, besides this is a good episode."

"Hardly, I can already tell this 'unsub' is a bumbling buffoon with marbles for brains. I'll pass, darling." He stated, walking towards his desk to possibly do some paperwork.

You shrug. "Oh well, you're free to go back to your meeting about cupcakes and rainbows or do your boring paperwork if you wanna. Just don't blame me when you get busted by Charlie for leaving the meeting and not having a good reason for it."

He stood in silence for a moment. Hands crossed behind his back as he stopped in his tracks. A defeated sign left his lips, before he walked back over to you and muttering an slightly irritated. "Move over..."

--------------------

•Will occasionally curl up behind you while you hold your tablet, muttering in your ear about how far investigators and the police force have come yet also bashing the criminals for making what he deemed as "Basic mistakes."

• Domestic Alastor would pack you lunch everyday if you had a job that took place outside of the hotel and will happily force his shadows to deliver it to you, should you forget it.

• Southern Alastor and Southern Reader is something I need someone to actually make a documentary on. Imagine it! You, a sinner from the modern South. Alastor, a sinner from the old South. It would be fucking beautiful.

• Alastor and Southern POC? Holy Crap, yes. Don't get me wrong, you'd talk just as normal as everyone else, you having an accent wasn't even thought about until one day Angel Dust tested your patience after drinking your favorite bottle of juice.

• After that day Alastor became your official translator and violence mediator because for the next three days Angel had to stay in his room all day due to some very serious, very violent stomach issues.

• He would definitely love a partner that could sing, but if you can't then don't worry! Who better to teach you than him? Will incorporate lessons throughout your day until the both of you are busting out more random duets and choreography than Disney Channel Original movie.

• Everything Alastor does is autistic coded... No, I will not elaborate..Not until I feel like it -_-

• You're not one to get jealous but if you did or were, it would probably be because of Charlie. You know that she's with Vaggie and you love both of them, of course. But sometimes you find yourself feeling insecure and insignificant. Comparing yourself with the Princess and wondering if Alastor would choose her over you if she ever showed interest.

• This would be extremely prominent if you are the complete opposite of her or you are shamelessly yourself at the cost of trying not to care what people think despite the fact that you care a lot about how people see you and think obsessively if anyone really like your or if they just tolerate you because your there and they don't want to be rude.'Imnotprojectingyourprojecting!!

• You typically don't tell Alastor about this because you don't want him to think you're sensitive or weak, but trust me, he's more observant than you give him credit for. He has a keen eye for knowing when someone is at their lowest or hiding behind a mask. It will not take him long before he corners you and makes you spill the beans.

• After voicing your concerns, he won't comfort you in a traditional way, like giving you a hug or something. But he will gently tell you that you have nothing to worry about. Dabbing your tears with his silk handkerchief, makes you some tea, and essentially hovers over you all day to make sure you don't randomly break down or get snappish on the innocent. (He's a very "Do as I say, not as I do" type of lover..)

• And maybe, juussst maybe, when you're sleeping in his bed, cuddling the soft pillows like a teddy bear, he'll come over you and stroke your hair, before placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. A warm blossoming in his chest as he watches you snuggle deeper into the sheets, in a deep sense of peace.

---------------------------------------

Thank you for reading my blurbs once again! I think I might start categorizing these so I'll let you guys pick what blurb I write about next! :D

I know the point of these are too be random but I also don't like having my ideas scattered around like this, so, having you guys telling me or giving me ideas would definitely help a bit.

I hope to see you next time, stay tuned for the next one and don't forget to answer the poll to see what I should do next.

[thereweredragonshere]

Hi!

I know I've said I love your art before, but I just wanna mention it again <3. I adore the way you draw Night Furies, your my favorite artist who draws them!! Honestly I've shied away from drawing dragons (lack of internal vision + fear of failure) and your art helped me work through some of that and actually start attempting to draw dragons! I have a million Night Fury drawing related questions to ask, but also don't wanna blow up your inbox lol. (Been thinking of new ones as I do my first proper drawing of a Night Fury). But yeah, I love your art its fantastic <3333

So, to start simple, how about legs? In particular, whilst drawing, I had a hard time with 1. Length of the legs, 2. The distance between the legs (ie from the back of the front legs to the front of the back legs, if that makes sense, sorry if that's confusing sounding) and 3. The width of the legs. I know this variable, and view dependent, but I found that too wide=space between legs looking wrong, and too narrow=same effect.

Hey!

Thank you so so much for the lovely words <<33 I’m so glad to hear you’re getting into drawing dragons! Their anatomy is so funky and cool to mess with!

^ Adding that to reference back to

Generally speaking for leg spacing, you’re gonna have the second triangle of the ribcage and about half of the lower body between the joint sockets. The socket for the front legs is not right at the bottom of the ribcage, remember, they have shoulder blades!!

I don’t really have an exact frame of reference for the length of the legs, as it’s probably one of the most variable features. But I find keeping in mind that night furies are relatively short in stature to be helpful. That being said, I did make this grid as a loose guide.

Even then, night furies are ground crawlers. They don’t usually stand at full height, so a lot of the time you’ll be drawing bent knees and stuck out elbows.

The width of the legs are also very variable. But only in specific parts

It’s always the lower half of the legs you wanna vary the size of. Night furies are not muscular dragons, their whole thing is agility and aerodynamics, so being bulky has no purpose to them. The upper arm and thigh are the thinnest part of each respective leg, and I find they have very minimal variety in size before you start having spacing issues.

The lower arm and lower leg, however, can be as chunky or shrink wrapped as you like! It adds personality either way

Thank you so much for the ask! Please feel feee to bombard my inbox with questions because I could draw these guys all day long🫶🫶

[gakukitty]

— ON THE PHONE x gaku

summary . gaku loves his girl sooo much , and her sweet pussy ! but what he loves more is making her all restless and whiny :3

wc . 0.9k

cw . SMUT MDNI , phone sex , very mild orgasm denial , he’s kinda annoying sometimes but it’s okay because it’s gaku , some dirty talk , mentions of f! reader and gaku never meeting !!

masterlist ౨ৎ

“keep going,” gaku hums. he’s just as nonchalant as ever, tone flat through the speaker of his mic. the two of you have only ever called, but he’s sure he knows you well enough. well, he knows your body enough.

“i caaaann’t,” you draw out, a pretty little whine escaping your lips. your back arches, fingers plunging in and out of your sopping pussy. “gaku,” you sniffle, tears pooling in your eyes. the man just huffs softly under his breath.

you can hear him shifting from the other end. you want to be there with him. sniff, sniff.

“deeper.” he insists, narrowing his eyes slightly. his camera is off, but yours is on— and damn, don’t you look beautiful? your glistening cunt on display from him, juices oozing out and squelching around your fingers. it’s so hot. sounds good in his headphones, too.

“‘m trying.” you mumble, and gaku can hear the pout through your tone. you’re so cute, he thinks. arching your back and changing your position, you squeal as your fingers reach that spot, the same spot you’ve been trying wirh all you’ve got to find. “mhhhg,”

“don’t slow down on me now, sweetheart.” he muses, tone nonchalant. he watches as your hand stutters, and he just clicks his tongue. “you’re getting sloppy.” he notes, his palm reaching down to cup the growing bulge in his pants. it’s honestly been there for a while, but he’s only started to notice it now.

“y’gonna cum? you gonna do it, baby?” he coaxes, a low groan escaping his lips as you sniffle cutely and nod. “mm.. i don’t think i want you too, though.” he drawls, palming himself through his pants. he’d like to imagine that it’s your hand. he hums in satisfaction at the thought.

“what? noo, please,” you say quickly, hips wriggling slightly. you know better than to go against what gaku says, but he’s gotten you all worked up— and he’s just gonna deny you?! “no fair!” you huff, only to be cut off by a chuckle from the other end of the line.

“jus’ be a good girl and hang on. let’s cum together, yeah?” he’d coo, his free hand reaching to pick up his phone which had been propped up by his console. he turns on the camera, just giving you a mocking smile and raising an eyebrow before flipping the camera.

“you see what you do to me? got me all hard. wish you were here, sweetheart.” he mumbles, relishing in the cute little whines you’re making. “you miss me? miss this cock?” he prompts, slowly shifting his pants down a little.

“mhmmm,” you can only hum affirmation, trying desperately not to just say ‘fuck it’ and chase your orgasm. you doubt you realt could cum without gaku and his sometimes infuriating teasing, though.

when his cock finally springs free, you’re practically drooling ! your boyfriend’s cock is just so big , so nice .. you want it sooo bad.

“ooh,” gaku honestly doesn’t really care to hide his moans. your cunt’s on full display, so he might as well show his girls some appreciation. his girls being you, and your pussy. “squeezin’ me so tight, baby.” he mutters breathlessly, his hand wrapped around his thick cock. he so badly wishes it was you instead of his hand, but it’s whatever.

all he cares about at the moment is the way you’re hiccuping, tears rolling down your cheeks. tsk, tsk. such a needy girl.

“how bad d’you want it,” gaku says, hips jerking as he watches your hand reach for your phone. you angle it, showing him a close up of your pussy.

she looks so ready for him.

gaku cums on the spot, squeezing his cock and moaning. the man throws his head back, muttering a quiet ‘cum now, sweetheart. you can do it.’ as his hand speeds up slightly. he feels almost bad for not being able to be there— damnit, ue should’ve taken a screenshot. that was by far the hottest thing he’s seen— once he meets you, he’s definitely going to have to take some pictures in person.

you beam at his permission, and gaku really can’t help but chuckle as your cute little fingers start moving again. you whine and you mewl, back arching in a way that makes him just want to trace his hands down your spine.

“feel good?” he mumbles, flipping the camera back to his face. gaku gives you a small smile, amused at your display.

“yees,” you answer, fingers trembling just a little. your tummy tightens just a little, tone getting just a pitch higher. you’re so, so close…

“pause,” gaku says, a stupid grin forming on his lips. he just loves taunting you, doesn’t he?

“whaaatt,” you huff, your pace slowing down just slightly. you’re so freakin’ close! he can’t ruin it again! “baby, what,” you repeat, and gaku just smiles at your cute little whines of protest.

“tell me you love me and i’ll let you cum.”

“i.. i love you, i guess.” you grumble, lips curving into a slight pout. stupud idiot, can’t he keep the sappy stuff for when you’re not on the verge of release?!

“nuh-uh, say it like you mean it. i can wait aalll day.” your boyfriend purrs, and you swear that you’d give him a real good slap if you weren’t on the other side of a call.

“i love you, baby.” you scoff softly at the look on his face. he just raises an eyebrow, tilting his head at you mockingly. what more can he ask for?! “i love you soooo much, gaku.” you try, fingers twitching slightly. come ooon, can he hurry up with these stupid games?!

“i love you too.” he mutters, his grin softening just slightly. “go ahead, then.” he muses, lightly tapping his thigh wirh his pointer finger.

when your fingers staff moving again, you really can’t hide the whines spilling from your lips. mm, maybe he was a little too mean. poor little kitty, he muses.

“doin’ so well for me.” gaku praises, deciding he’ll be nice for a bit. he’s been denying his sweet girl what she wants for a little while now. “come on, you can do it.”

and with that, you finally snap. you mewl, cum dripping out of your cunt and onto your thighs and wrist. gaku hums, gaze drifting across his screen.

“y’know, (name), i think it’s about time we meet each other.”

© gakukitty please don’t copy my work , repost it and claim as your own , translate , or do anything stupid with it ! try and improve on ur own skills first ♡

[feliville]

Haiiiiii I’ve been following you recently but oh my worddddddd I just wanna talk about your art and how good it is your art captivates me……like your colors are RADIANT and you have a very charming style…..I particularly like the way you draw eyes it just feels like. Unique in your art like what makes it recognizable to me ykyk

AND NOOOOT TO MENTION YOUR OCs I LOVE THEMMMMM been scrolling through posts about them they captivate me….my favorite of yours is Paulina she’s so prettay and quite lovely ^_^ if you don’t mind + when I have enough time on my hands I can draw herrr,,

Ummmmm okay that’s all just wanted to share some positivity :3 have a good rest of your day!!!

YOU'RE THE SWEETEST;;; THANK U SO MUCH

AUUGHGNG ;__; If u ever do draw her PLS SHOW MEEE AHBGJNF;;

I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOOO ;O;

[tarta-de-limon]

Hey!! How do you think Dick and Damian's relationship would be in DC vs Vampires?? Like, I don't think it was explored that much, much less explained.

Dick killed Brice in front of Damian and said "fuck you" to everyone-

(I loved your DC vs Vampires drawing about Damian and Dick :3 )

I don't know, after Dick killed everyone I don't think their relationship can be saved, or at least not restored to the way it used to be??? I didn't understand before why Dick chose to save/turn Damian. He did try to turn Jason too, but Tim he was outright killed, my poor boy, and so was Bruce.

Jason I am not too sure (I did know it was because of Wonder Woman, I just think he could have refused) but did he turn Damian because he saw him not only as his brother but as his son? 😭😭😭 I know it isn't mentioned in DC vs Vampires, but in a Nightwing issue it is (I mean the fact that he sees Damian as his son and the fact that he thought about adopting him, kind of).

I think Damian's hatred towards Dick could have ended(?) way better with Damian being the one who killed him, and not Barbara.

Damian's life mission was to kill Dick and avenge his family after what happened but Barbara and Harley were the ones who ended up killing him and idk. I would have preferred, one thousand times, if they had a conversation, if Dick let himself be killed by Damian, and Damian couldn't do it or smt, but at the end he closes his eyes and does it, because Dick is no longer Dick anymore??? Not completely at least.

IT'S CORNY, I KNOW, BUT I JUST LOVE SEEING DAMIAN BEING VULNERABLE (AND I AM CORNY AF TOO, so don’t judge me 😭)

And thank you sm 😭😭😭 for Dick and Damian week I'm choosing the DC vs Vampires theme in day five, so there's a (hopefully) better fanart of both of them coming, and not just a messy sketh 😭💖💖💖

Edit: I don’t remember much of DC vs Vampires because I read it a long time ago, so yeah… I hope i am not spreading misinformation over here 😭, I added some () just in case

[sosoribro]

1 YEAR OF CARLO OBSESSION GIVE IT UP FOR 1 YEAR <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

YAP SESH BELOW!

let's start at the beginning.

my name is miles morale- wait no

it ALL started in march 2024 where i was watching a whole bunch of poofesure's papa's videos. why? comfort probably

i became interested in the reoccurring characters in the games, and decided to look some of them up myself.

then, i was clicking around on the wiki, and i eventually found him.

i liked him instantly. i think it was his design that caught my eye at first. i read his flipdeck and thought, "wow! he sounds like a really sweet character! :3"

and on the 12th of march 2024, i made these little doodles of him

i found his hair difficult to get the hang of.

i did the best i could, and also decided "you know what? make it longer" and so i did. and it has sort of grown over the months, i've noticed.

i find it interesting that if you were to look at my carlo art from the first drawing to this one, it would look a bit like he himself had grown.

i draw him with the features that i do (i.e freckles, pimples, long hair) because that's just what i think would make him look beautiful oh yeah did i mention that i have a crush on him because yeah

as for headcanons, a lot of them once again come from what i would find attractive. most prominently his personality and temperament.

in my opinion, carlo is a soft-spoken and very sweet person. he's attentive and gentle with people.

i also seem to have given him traits that i myself have. for example, his emotional sensitivity and his fear of being a burden to others.

also he's asexual just like me.

this is important to me.

he's very important.

initially, i thought of carlo as a very romantic person. however, currently, i view him as loving in a variety of ways. he loves his friends, he loves his family, he loves animals, he loves nature, he loves so many things.

and while i do not headcanon him as being on the aromantic spectrum, i think he would enjoy reading about and thinking about romance, but the idea of actually being in a relationship makes him nervous.

i do not ship him with any characters.

he and deano have been best friends since childhood. carlo was a very quiet child, but deano seemed to understand him in a way nobody else did at the time.

he and koilee are close friends. she made him friendship bracelets and he wears them all the time.

he and scarlett had been friends since before her band came to be.

he knew marty from when he (marty) was clover's age, since he taught him guitar (canon).

clover likes him a lot, because she feels understood around him. she knows its okay to have feelings and be afraid or sad or angry.

carlo worries for clover sometimes, as she's put herself out there at such a young age. i headcanon her to be younger than carlo was when he started performing with his family.

let's talk about his family.

he worries for bruna. she works very hard, and it's clear that it isn't good for her. when she needs it, he looks after her with zero complaint.

he looks up to gino. gino is calm and knows what he needs, when he needs it, whilst carlo can be reluctant to admit when he's struggling.

he's abundantly grateful for his father. his father always knows when something's wrong. he lets carlo know that there isn't any shame at all in needing help or support, no matter how much support you need. he knows that carlo is trying his best.

and i'll be so honest right now i barely ever think of his relationship with olga i am so sorry💀

songs i associate with carlo:

'love, me normally' - will wood

'against the kitchen floor' - will wood

'¡aikido! (neurotic/erotic)' - will wood and the tapeworms

'um, it's kind of a lot' - will wood

'you' - tally hall

'cupid' - jack stauber

wow thats a lot of will wood

in conclusion, carlo is an absolute angel who tries so hard. he is trying so hard. he's incredible but he's way too bashful to admit it. i love him a lot. i have loved him a lot for a year. and maybe another year. and maybe another year. etc. maybe? i dont know yet

but i think that carlo would say that it's okay to not know what's going to happen.

i certainly didnt know i would be here a whole year later making a huge tumblr post about this guy from a fun little series of fun little food games designed for 8 year olds but here we are.

[somewillwin]

The og Maddie ask here!

I meant like even in the show, before Caitlyn goes for Vi, she cuts the relationship with Maddie as they visit her mother’s memorial.

And to me, personally (heavy on this) since Caitlyn is actually so loyal, I don’t think she would yearn for Vi that hard as she wants to be loyal to Maddie and I don’t think Caitlyn would like to hurt Maddie by yearning for someone else and make her feel cold.

(And I read other asks and even the comments where it says that Maddie and Caitlyn only used each other for things but I’d like to say that this isn’t AU isn’t canon and I’m not sure that you ever mentioned that Maddie will happen to be a killer or manipulated by Ambessa and as you said, if you’ll stick with it. IMO keeping her as the killer wouldn’t that much sense since Cassandra is still alive and Powder is actually sane. Like if you’re keeping Cassandra alive and Powder sane and Vi out of prison, I think it be a great shift to make Maddie wanting to be with Caitlyn for status)

And I truly appreciate your response and addressing it! <3

It’s just that- I don’t see why would people need trigger warning for Maddie 💀 that’s such lame behaviour at their big age and even as some joke, I don’t find it funny (I might be too sensitive but I feel like it’s only feeding the nasty aggression she’s getting as a character. Yes, she’s the villain and victim character (to me even complex)l if you get into her depth) and people don’t need to like her but the way the fandom is straight up aggressive towards her is shocking and I feel like the trigger warnings for fan art with her are only feeding it and creating a ‘safe zone’ for this aggression (hence comments under your posts with Maddie).

I think using her as “toll for drama” is actually so sad and low :( if you don’t know her that much, you still can give her your own background, just a little bit. For example like… she bakes when she’s stressed and suddenly isn’t that much of hated character.

And ngl, I see, or think, that most of the time you draw and talk about Caitlyn and Maddie is like both of them hated each other and the relationship, yet they remain friends? I’m not trying to hate or anything! I’m just trying to say, that there’s some build character / or the relationship is simply missing. They had to do something in these six months and as much as I agree that they might didn’t love each other that much, I feel like you draw and talk about them with such cold that wouldn’t even pull them together in their remaining friendships. (And maybe that’s exactly what gives people the feeling that they can be aggressive.)

No relationship? That’s completely fine! Many people realise that they’re better as friends. But what is putting Maddie and Caitlyn together as friends?

They’re both smart, they can be study buddies. Maddie can bake when she’s stressed and maybe then she even taught Caitlyn how to do it, you know.

And again; this isn’t hating or anything, just simply something what I wanted to talk about with you because I feel like there’s such Maddie hate that comes from your fans (hence comments on your Instagram account).

Again; I love your au and I’m having so much fun with it. I love your other work art too and I love having (even previous ones) asks about the fandom and I hope your accounts only grows and you gain more love for your work <3

No I get it dw!

Tbh about your question about what pulls them together as friends???? It’s all they went through together in training during those 6 months.

She is with Maddie cause she needs someone, which is why she feels guilty about it when they get out of training and continues to be with her. The thing is that Cait’s is also lying to herself, she not conscious she’s using Maddie, she’s for real forcing herself to love her and lying to herself in the process.

They weren’t miserable with each other, Cait’s was just miserable in general during that era, Same as vi.

Subconsciously Cait knows she’s not in love with Maddie which is why she put on a barrier during their sexy times (she never gets completely naked)

Cait feels very complex emotions about Maddie but none of them are bad towards her. They are not *close* friends after they break up, they don’t meet up for tea or go out together, but they are cordial and they didn’t have a bad break up.

The thing is (and I think it shows) is that I’m not a writer, so I lack some tools on how to develop characters…. Also I just don’t have the time to draw stuff that will not add to the caitvi centric story. Would it be cool to give more of a bg to Maddie??? Sure! But how do I show that in one or two drawings while keeping it centric to caitvi???

I barely have the time to do this daily plus commissions plus the Kofi event plus stickers. I want to draw meljay and timebomb and Kiragray even Silco and Vander to develop this AU more… but I really don’t have the time. The daily thing is a caitvi thing so I have to be the center of the drawing.

I think the writers writing the au based on the art can develop more of Maddie intentions and bg. But sadly I can do it with my art. Maybe once I finish it.

Oh but btw! Maddie will be more present and I will show how she was actually helpful for Cait’s during the divorce era… but we are not there yet. When we get to the divorce era if you have any suggestions about Maddie I will gladly hear you out.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Hi, in regards to a post you made in Feb about building community as an activist and not burning out, I have some questions. Mostly in the form of plaintive cries for help... which, if that is something that annoys you or just something you don't want to deal with... That's fine, I don't expect an answer, in all honesty. I'd appreciate any advice you can give me, though, and I thank you for your time.

To start off..I want to be sociable, kind, giving. Maybe not as you are, but..in some way that I can do.

Mostly (I think) for altruistic reasons. Though its at least partly also out of guilt or because I can not stand to be a bystander or just..apathetic, I feel I have gone way too far down that road already, and there's nothing good at the end of it.

I..at the risk of oversharing, your post really resonated with me, but..looking back on my experiences and life, I think I might just...not work as a social human.

I have...a lot of challenges socializing with people, especially people without similar difficulties or innate sympathy to my situation or feelings.

Which makes it hard to be a social butterfly or any sort of insect, near impossible maybe.

And I know its not the only way to organize or to help build community, but it is a prerequisite for a lot of it in my experience. I struggle to hold a five-minute conversation or ask a simple request, even of people I broadly not to be hurt by me or hurt me. Both because of past trauma and failings in the actions mentioned.

I suppose I am asking for advice. If one has...near-zero socialization ability, and an untrustworthy sort of mien and general vibe. Is there any place or action I can do in my community (the only place I feel at all confident in helping or knowing how to help) that doesn't involve those things? Like... it's an uphill battle everywhere, but here it feels, it feels insurmountable or not much is being done. At least in my city and not Vancouver. A lot of the local activists are either burning out, quitting, or just... not doing much directly. Hearts and minds.

I can't cook, I'm...middling at bullshitting at being "normal" or "approachable" or even "sane", I can't draw, I don't have a network, and I have no resources that are useful. Besides time and a failing back. What can I *do* better. To be of help. I'm genuinely grasping at straws and coming up empty. And I don't want to make things worse anymore.

This isn't a 'gotcha', I genuinely want an answer that might put things into focus or just...inform me what I could be doing.

Please give yourself (and me) the space to read this answer as one that comes from love, understanding, and a genuinely difficult negotiation/tension between the role of self-as-individual vs self-as-community. My response is probably going to ramble and wind a bit, and I can't promise it'll feel actionable, but I promise I'm taking this as seriously as I can.

When I was fresh out of my undergrad degree, I finally bit the bullet and hired a social coach. I'd spent my entire life up until this point absolutely devastatingly incapable of making friends, communicating effectively in my personal and work life, and was pretty sure that I would never ever feel connected to another human being again. I could get technical about the mechanisms of that if we wanted to get lost in the weeds about what kind of people can or can't ever learn how to be in community with others but let's go ahead and assume for a minute that whatever a person reading this is about to assert means they are incapable of socializing even WITH explicit and direct training on what "socialization" even is, my life involved some degree of it whether yall want to believe me or not.

So I hired a social coach. I did this because I was tired of feeling overwhelmed, angry, isolated, exhausted, and cornered because I was constantly under fire for my poor social skills and also simultaneously pervasively invisble to others. It was kind of a nightmare way to live and I needed it to stop. So the social coach takes me out to coffee and starts explaining her approach, and do you know what I do? I argue with her. I tell her "but that's not how it works for me, why SHOULDN'T it be okay for me to be the version of me that's more comfortable rather than the one everyone else is expecting?"

And her answer was one that genuinely had me go home and refuse to schedule another appt for like 3wks because I was so frustrated by it.

She said: of course it's okay for you to be that. But you didn't ask me to help you be the most comfortable version of you. You asked me to help you learn to be more effective at navigating social interactions. Learning how to be intentional and effective with your approach doesn't mean you HAVE to use it all the time. And we'll even have specific conversations about how you want to decide when and how to use this stuff. But you need to learn about the different available tools before you can make an informed decision about which one is right for each interaction.

Reader, I hated that fuckin answer.

But she was right. And 3wks later I was back in the coffee shop with her learning about the different styles of communication and their use cases, about relationship theories and how they view the form and function of different social etiquettes, about the difference between a boundary and a demand, about all these things that no one had ever said out loud to me before but which had clear and present impacts on my entire life in retrospect.

Something else my social coach said: It's new for us to expect people to just learn social skills from their parents and general osmosis. Used to be that churches, finishing schools, extended family members, etc were all commonly present and involved in the process of explicitly teaching social skills, and books on etiquette were made available to those who were trying to teach/learn independently.

This had basically never occurred to me, but Reader, I went home and immediately started looking into etiquette books. I have some older ones that are obviously not immediately relevant anymore, but many of them discuss some really interesting lessons on the philosophies behind cultures of hospitality that I found DEEPLY useful. I also have newer ones that talk about more modern-applicable social expectations! Personally, I've always found direct advice (e.g. saying this means that) less long-term valuable to me than more generalized theories about how and why people might respond to things in the ways they do. You obviously can't just like. Find one of these that explains everything all the time, but the more familiar these ideas are, the easier I find it to move between them as needed.

And like. Doing this stuff, learning about theories of relationality and connection, taking social skill building courses, they were helpful. But you know what they taught me more than anything else?

Almost every person who has ever given you shit for being bad at communicating is ALSO really FUCKING BAD at communicating. We all are. Because we stopped fucking teaching it as a skill and started treating it like an innate concept ("social butterfly" isn't a personality type, but that doesn't stop people from declaring themselves "naturally social" or whatever). The difference between you and the person/people who told you that you suck at it is ownership of self.

See, having more tools didn't ACTUALLY make me better at socializing. But it gave me so many different ways to tackle a thing that I learned to pivot whenever one just didn't work. And I started noticing that usually when I pivoted, people responded in kind but SOMETIMES there was literally NO pivot from me that a person would accept. Because I wasn't the problem. The problem was that they were not accepting my communication for one reason or another. And friend, learning that I could just like. Call that shit out? Point and go "I need you to repeat back to me what you think I'm saying right now because I don't think you're hearing me." Man that was game changing.

Learning what I could and could not be responsible for and in control of. Being honest with myself about when I could and couldn't tolerate certain outcomes and not setting myself up for pain around that. Setting reasonable boundaries with people and asking them to do the same for me. More tools made that stuff easier, but ultimately all the good communication in the world wasn't a replacement for doing the very real, very FUCKING HARD work of learning how to coexist with people who are not me. People talk to us like this kind of coexistence means being subsumed and consumed by the collective such that you no longer exist. But this is a lie. There is no human on this earth able to exist entirely alone. We all depend on someone, somewhere, for something related to our basic survival. If you walk through the world unable to feel safe acting on this, you will walk through the world artificially starving yourself to death of everything you need to thrive and barely scraping up enough survival needs to keep going.

And that's true for all of us. So like. The threat that other people pose to us is LITERALLY the result of how much we all depend on each other. We are afraid of that interdependence because we are so alienated from ourselves and each other (for reasons that are culturally contextualized even when they are individual issues specific to us) that we no longer see each other as part of the broader "us". We are all just tiny clusters of individual "me's" occasionally vibrating along as an agitated and menaced "us" until we rattle off each other into our "me" bubbles again. But none of us can live like that. We're all WATCHING that truth in real time as it devastates, slaughters, facilitates fascism, isolates and erodes our safety nets, abandons those most in need.

When I first started in social work I learned about "strengths-based perspectives" and I actually found some of these ideas really helpful in changing how fixated I was on "can't do's". Things I saw as closed doors, blocked paths, constricted and restricted ways of moving forward. Turns out, that this type of thinking is the same one that tends to power eating disorders, driving the brain slowly fucking insane with how much "can't" there is and how excruciating the process of "can" often becomes. The human body-mind has a complex relationship with constriction, and if you live your life in that tension consistently enough for lomg enough, it fucks you up pretty badly. But like. Look around you. There's a LOT of can't in the world right now.

Can't get a job. Can't feed your family. Can't relax. Can't feel heard. Can't feel safe. Can't make friends. Can't go anywhere. Can't stop genocides. Can't survive them either. Can't talk about what's wrong. Can't be quiet any longer or you'll tear your own hair out. Can't pay rent. Can't go to the doctor when you're sick. Can't afford a family. Can't decide not to have a family you can't afford. Can't get help. Can't catch a fucking break.

Folks, I don't think that we can afford to think like this all the way to a shallow grave, do you?

There's a LOT that I can't do. And there is and has always been far more that I can. But learning how to see the latter was something no one ever taught me until I sought out the lessons myself as an adult. I *deserved* to be taught that, we ALL did, but probably that didn't work out for most of us. So learn. Learn because otherwise the helplessness and hopelessness will kill us all.

The goal isn't to force yourself to do things you can't. The goal is to learn how to be effective in the things you CAN do. And you have to be willing and able to learn about the tools that can help you do that. I don't know what that will look like for you, friend. But I know you'll find it.

[egotisticmav]

Cariño

❀.ೃ࿔ ─── The Spanish word cariño translates to "affection" or "love" in English. It can also be used as a term of endearment, similar to "honey" or "sweetheart".

| that one headcannon that Suna is hispanic lives in my mind contsantly and theres even evidence cause his favourite food is a popular hispanic snack!! (i'm not well mentally) : i love this man so much he's my husband : i love The Marías so much omg

・cw : Rintarou Suna x gn!reader : superrrr sappy : writing is probably shart : Miya twins mentioned : set in timeskip : drugs mentioned (NOT FANON SUNA I SWEAR) : reader refered to as 'pretty' like once? :

・wc : 490 (why's it so perfect..)

| mlist

Rintarou Suna, the boy you've loved for so long, the boy you love so much it physically hurts

No matter how close or far you two are from eachother, you always manage to send eachother love letters redeclaring your love for one another. I mean who couldn't?

You know things about him that even he doesn't know

・Like how every sunday when his mum deep cleans the house to Selena Quintanilla you catch him humming along (but he simply denies it)

・Whenever he's tired he tries to wake himself up by starring into his lockscreen - which of course is a photo of you two - because he say "The bluelight from the phone wakes you up or something."

・No matter how hard he tries to write neatly it always looks like scratches on the page

・How he keeps atleast five dollars on him at all times incase of an emergency convience store run. And he will sacrafice his food for your sake

And this is just the tip of the Rintarou iceburg, whats really underneath his how sickingly sweet his written expression of love for you is

•······················••······················••······················•

Dear Y/n,

Even when I'm physically far from you I never forget your beauty.

Every time I kiss you it feels like I'm that teenage boy again all those years ago getting the first taste of you entoxicating love.

Just looking at you will never fail to amaze me, how someone so perfect like you made your way into my life which was once filled with Atsumu and Osamu's constant bickering.

I wish I could give you everything you deserve (and more) just to show you how much I love you.

It feels like i've taken mass amounts of some illegeal drug to be this infactuated with someone but I honestly don't mind it, because it means you're the one for me.

I love you my cariño♡

P.S. Will you marry me (I forgot to write that part in the letter)

•······················••······················••······················•

"Ughh 'Tarou you ruined the mood of the letter becasue of that!" You say unamused tears still falling down your cheeks, his letter still in your hands

His laugh echoed through your shared apartment, his arm pulling you closer by your waist

"Aww I'm sorry pretty, I can't help it I forgot that part. I promise I didn't mean to ruin the moment"

Looking up at him tears still on your lash line, your nose still snifferly

"I guess I'll forgive you.." Your head snuggling into nook of his neck "I hope you didn't forget the ring too" A small giggle coming from your lips as your eyes shut slightly

You instantly felt Rintarou's body stiffen up. He cleared his throat shifting his body out from under yours

"I'll be right back I promise, please don't be mad.."

•······················••······················••······················•

It was in his sock draw safe and sound thankfully

| something small before i start cramming for the first term of exams

© egotisticalmav'25 | do not plagiarise or translate any of my work

[xylatox]

maroon | cbg

another lets fic!! I'm so excited so read this, Gyu continues to bias wreck me everyday.

Your fingers loosen around the strap of your bag, and your feet move in the opposite direction. Fast. Running away, as far as possible from him— Jeon Wonwoo. — WONWOO MENTION😭 already in shambles ugh.

Reader and Gyu's first interaction is so cute wtf :( like him calling her miss?? reader's personality being so endearing, I absolutely love it.

He opens his eyes, holding his belly from laughing so much, and watches you laugh— the way your shoulders shakes and your eyes become two flat lines as you smile and laugh so brightly captivates him. “You look beautiful when you laugh like that,” he blurts out, without thinking much. — im so in love, this entire interaction is do sweet:((

I love the beginning of their relationship so bad you wouldn't even know. I also love Yunah as well??? she's so sweet, their friendship is so cute. And Kai and his sisters mention!!! :)) AND Yeonjun mention omg, I'm going to die. I also love that little interaction at the beach?? I really do love them your honour.

I will always be a loser for 7 minutes in heaven in a fic, it's such a guilty pleasure, it's so iconic and enjoyable, I do love that they're talking so we get more depth to their personality, I love a vulnerable moment (also Soobin and Taehyun mention hehe!!)

Random thought but I think Pedialyte is so gross 😭 like I can drink it fine now (i still think it tastes terrible), but I associate it with kidney failure, so it's just traumatizing lmfao. Also Soobin offering for them to stay at his family's beach house is so sweet Hello???

Yeonjun I love you but you ruined the moment no😔😔😔

As for Beomgyu… well, he was a complete tease, yet somehow, completely dreamy. Every opportunity to press you against a wall and mutter some provocative words against your lips, but without actually kissing them, he took it. — HELLLI??????? LETS WHAT ID I DIE😔😭 I'm so glad to see their relationship progress tho :((

I take it back I'm sad, i didn't expect Gyu to feel like that the morning after :(( I am glad Jjun is able to talk with him though:(

"Hey, I have an idea”, he says, eyes glinting. "What?" "I can get you high without you having to smoke" "How?" "Just watch". He takes a big drag but doesn’t exhale. Instead, he leans in, lips hovering yours. Your heart pounds— how could it not? He is so close, his lips mere inches away, and you feel so tempted to kiss him, as if some supernatural force is drawing your lips closer. — God I am not your strongest soilder rn omg

You haven’t heard from Beomgyu in about two months, not even Yeonjun knew about him. Soobin also claimed he didn’t know either, but you’re convinced he lied. The way his voice faltered over the phone, how he quickly changed the subject— it all gave him away. — im so heartbroken no :( and to make it worse, he's with someone else.

Damn, lets you really are tearing my heart apart rn.

OMG THE END????? I can't help but feel bad for the girl he was with 😭 Lets this was amazing!! I went through so many emotions and I'm so glad I finally got to read this💗

Maroon- C.B

Disclaimer: smut, toxic relationship (idk what else to call it), scratches and cuts (nothing too serious).

Word count: 20.1k

Playlist (guys this playlist is the whole core of this story, really 😭)

Note: Happy Beomgyu day!!! Today, 24 years ago, this beautiful soul was born. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, he even made me choke on water when he came back from vacations. I love everything about him from his physical features to his funny side but also his emotional one. I love him so much 😭 this is my first year celebrating his bday but i hope i can celebrate many more. Enjoy this little silly fic i made for celebrating the day 🫶

Thank you @nanahachi3 for letting me use a little of your drama in my story. The rest of it is basically based on my pathetic love life 👍

The bell rings, loud and persistent, signaling the start of the last first period of the semester. A sea of students moves through the hallways, heading for their classrooms, arms linked with their friends, talking about their summer plans, filled with excitement for the ending of the semester. But you— you remain still, eyes fixed on the two figures in front of you. 

On her, leaning against the wall, and on him, with his hand pressed against it just above her head, cornering her.The depth in their gaze, the soft smiles they share, the gentle way his hand holds her chin, drawing her closer— it hurts. Their happiness pierces you, almost cuts you physically.

Your vision blurs, and the rest of the hallway spins, like a faded memory of an old dream, in which you can barely see, barely understand anything. Your skin feels the warmth of tears, rolling down, salty, dripping from your jaw. Your fingers loosen around the strap of your bag, and your feet move in the opposite direction. Fast. Running away, as far as possible from him— Jeon Wonwoo.

As you roam without direction through the almost endless college hallway, you ask yourself why— why you care so much about this? After all, Wonwoo is just a nerd who only cares about two things: his physics book and his stupid band— Seventeen. And well… now, about her too. But who cares, right? You’re more than he deserves. You’re smart, funny, beautiful, the best in class— everyone agrees. You have your own friends, your own projects to take care of, to focus on, things far more important than a boring boy like him. And yet… why does it hurt so much that he chose her and not you?

Apparently, you care.

The tears and the run make your lungs burn, so you stop and lean your hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath. You inhale deeply, telling yourself it's not worth it crying over him, when you realize where your feet have led you— the campus skatepark, the "home" of the skaters. Those long haired boys, with their baggy clothes, attractive faces, and ridiculously stupid minds. You’ve never understood why anyone would do something as dangerous as skateboarding for fun— it doesn’t make sense. You straighten your back and let out a sarcastic chuckle, “Pathetic”. Then, you turn to walk away, but suddenly, everything around you spins again, and you feel your body being pulled back.

Like in a freefall, you’re about to hit the ground, with nothing to do but close your eyes, protect your head, and pray no one sees or records your fall. That’s what you do, closing your eyes and waiting to feel the concrete hit your ass. But then, you feel everything stop. You feel a strong arm wrapped around your waist and a fruity and floral scent of pomegranate with yuzu and peony with magnolia, alluring your senses. You slowly open your eyes to see an angelic face, yet carrying an expression of concern. His long, black hair with highlights sticks to his sweaty forehead, and his brown eyes scan your face, trying to decipher something.

For a moment, you think you’ve died and ended up in paradise, because the man in front of you doesn’t seem real, and even the exact moment he appeared doesn’t seem real, “Are you okay, miss?”. His voice is deep, husky and carries the same concern as his expression. You open your mouth and close it repeatedly, unsure of what to say,  “D-did I... die?”. Of course when you manage to say something, it's a silly question. But he doesn’t seem to agree, because he laughs, “No. Don’t worry, you’re still alive”, he says with a playful tone before helping you straighten up, “Not sure if that’s a good thing,” you mutter, “Hum?” “Nothing, never mind”. You straighten your skirt and look around, trying to figure out what happened to make you slip like that, “What happened?”, you ask.  

He gulps and rubs the back of his neck, “Well… you kinda... hum, tripped over my skateboard”, his voice fades as he finishes the sentence, “Sorry about that”. Your eyes spot the skateboard under his arm, “Oh. You skateboard?”, there’s disdain in your tone, but he doesn’t seem to care. “Yeah! Want to see some tricks?”, he says excited, like a kid who just got a birthday present, “No, thanks” “Oh, come on! Just a few tricks. As an apology” “I don’t see how that could be an apology…” “Great! Check it out”. He interrupts you, pointing to the skate park, “But I didn’t say that…”, but he’s no longer listening. He walks past you, gives you a tap on the shoulder, and heads to the ramp.  

You roll your eyes and cross your arms as you turn to watch him, “What’s up with this guy? Just because he’s ridiculously good looking and caught me like in a movie scene, he thinks I’m gonna stay here watching him show off while he risks cracking his head open and dying?”. He waves at you from a distance, you huff and cross your arms as he places the skateboard on the ground and steps on it, getting ready for the trick.

He kicks off with his right foot, and his body disappears down the bowl, “Well… he’s so wrong”. You prepare to turn around and leave, but just as he reappears— almost flying, with one hand raised to the sky and the other holding the skateboard— your jaw hits the floor immediately. Your arms uncross, hanging loosely by your sides, “Or maybe… not so much”. He repeats the trick, this time extending his arm and making a hang loose sign and giving you a goofy grin. You can’t help but laugh. But when the skateboard hits the ramp again, it slips and the skater boy falls into the bowl. The loud bang echoes through the area.

You gasp, covering your mouth with your hand before rushing to him, calling out, “Oh my god! Hey, are you okay?!”. Reaching the top of the ramp, you find his body sprawled on the bowl with the skateboard beside him and his hands resting on his stomach— laughing. Laughing loudly, like a psycho. “W-what…?”, you say, completely confused, “Are you okay?” “Okay?! I’m great, that was insane!”. You roll your eyes— it's typical of a skater to say something like that, “You’re crazy! I thought you died!”. He laughs even harder, even louder. The guy might be nuts, but seeing him laugh so genuinely like that makes something in your chest stir— a laugh? You don’t know how or why, but his laugh is so contagious that you start laughing as a crackhead, just like him.

He opens his eyes, holding his belly from laughing so much, and watches you laugh— the way your shoulders shakes and your eyes become two flat lines as you smile and laugh so brightly captivates him. “You look beautiful when you laugh like that,” he blurts out, without thinking much. You look at him, remains of laughter still in your throat, “What was that?” “You look beautiful when you laugh like that” “Did the fall mess with your sense of reason, man?” “No. You just are”. You blush. How could a guy like him think something like that about you? You clear your throat and quickly change the subject, “Look! You’re bleeding”, you point to his elbow. He glances at it but doesn’t seem to care, used to it, “It’s just a scratch” ““But it’s an open wound, it can get infected. Let me take care of it… as  a thank you for not letting me fall”.

He smiles, not caring about infection, but amused by the fact that you care, “Okay, okay. You can take care of my wound”. You straighten your back, satisfied, then extend your hand to help him up, “Let’s go then…”, he smiles playfully, completely charmed about you, and takes your hand, “Beomgyu. But you can just call me Gyu”.

Beomgyu follows you to your locker like a puppy trailing its owner. He watches you with curious, attentive eyes, as if you were some new creature and he is a researcher studying you while you take a first aid kit out of your locker. He chuckles, "What?" "I can't believe you keep a first aid kit in your locker” "You don’t?", you say nonchalantly, "Of course not" "Well, you should. From what I see, you get hurt often”, your eyes scan his arms, covered in scars, marks, and band-aids. Embarrassed, he quickly covers them with his hands, "Come on, let me see your elbow”, he bends his arm, showing you the wound. You take a sharp breath, "That looks pretty bad” "But you're going to take care of me, aren't you?", he pouts, "If you stay still, I will". He chuckles again, watching as you grab an antiseptic spray and a cotton pad, "This is going to sting," you warn, "That’s fine, I’m tough" "Alright, then". You press the spray lightly, not even releasing anything yet, but he instantly flinches. You raise an eyebrow at him, "Weren’t you tough?" "I am… That was just a reflex” "Sure" "I think I'd feel better if you held my hand," he says, grinning, "Are you serious? You literally flew on that skateboard, and you're scared of antiseptic?" "The skateboard doesn’t sting". You can’t help but laugh, "I promise to stay still if you let me hold your hand” "Promise?", he holds out his pinky finger. You stare at his outstretched finger, "Put that down and stay still, bro. I ain’t gonna hold your hand”, he pouts again, but you couldn't care less. Seeing no other choice, he finally gives in and shows you his injured elbow again.

You finally press the spray and quickly place the cotton underneath to prevent the medicine and blood from running down his entire arm. The antiseptic stings upon contact with his wound, you can tell by the grimace he makes. So you gently blow on it, trying to ease his agony a little. To anyone passing by, you look completely normal, just a girl blowing on a scraped elbow. But to Beomgyu, you’re almost a mirage— no one, besides his mom, has ever cared enough to check on an open wound or offered to clean it for him. Usually, he just washed it in the shower and slapped a bandage on top. But you— you’re right here, applying antiseptic, blowing softly, carefully, like a small, beautiful angel that fell from the sky, that he just happened to break the fall.

And he doesn’t even know your name.

"You haven’t told me your name” "Yn. You can call me that" "Yn”, he repeats, your name echoing down the hallway in his voice, sending a chill down your spine. "What do you study?" "Medicine” "Really?! So you’re literally doctor Yn” "I will be someday” "That explains a lot", he mumbles. You apply the ointment with a cotton swab, thinking about how annoying he is, "Ow!" "Sorry”, you soften your touch. But he doesn’t stop with his annoying questions, "Why aren’t you in class, Yn?" "Why aren’t you in class?", you say without looking up from what you’re doing. He smirks, "Touché", he stays quiet for a few rare seconds, watching as you carefully place a band-aid over his wound. "Is it because of the same reason you were crying?", your eyes snap up to meet his, your face carefully composed, and then— you lie. "I wasn’t crying”, his gaze is sharp, almost as if he could pull the truth straight out of you just by looking. So, you avoid his eyes and focus on organizing your first-aid kit instead. But he doesn't give up, "You were. Your eyes were red and puffy” "It's just… something got in my eye”, he smirks, crossing his arms and leaning against the lockers. "Sure… You failed a test?", you look at him, offended, "I’m a top student. I have a merit scholarship and I’m a member of the cardiology student association. I don’t fail tests”. He laughs, "Oh, my bad. Forget I said anything”. He goes silent for a few more seconds— something rare that doesn't last long, "Did someone say something to you, then?" You roll your eyes, slam your locker shut, and turn to him. "No, Beomgyu! No one said anything." "I told you to call me Gyu." "We’re not friends." "But I want to be." You cross your arms, stepping forward with a challenging look. "Who said I want to be your friend?" He holds your gaze, matching your challenge with even more intensity. "You do. I can see it in your eyes." You try to look away again, but you can’t. Something inexplicable keeps you locked in his stare. "See? I’m irresistible, aren’t I?" "You’re just cocky, that’s what you are." He grins, but something flashes in his eyes— just for a second, before he mumbles, "Yeah... cocky. That’s all I am” "What was that? “Can’t I want a thoughtful, smart, and gorgeous girl around, huh?". You giggle shyly, blushing against your will. He loves to have that power over you, "So? What do you say? Friends?" He extends his hand, and without even knowing why, you take it. Maybe it’s his undeniable charm, or maybe it’s the fact that you won’t have to see him for the next 3 months, "Friends”.

“Rise and shine, you trainwreck!”

The first thing you hear in the morning is Yunah’s, your best friend, voice practically shaking the walls. You groan, sitting up in bed, still groggy with sleep. Your hair is a mess, your face is marked by the pillow. She comes running out of the bathroom, a bikini in one hand and a bottle of sunscreen in the other, "For the love of God, get up!", Yunah practically jumps on your bed, shaking your shoulder like she’s trying to wake you up from a nightmare .  

You yawn, still half asleep, "What the hell, Yunah… it's 6 in the morning” "It’s almost 10", she corrects, throwing the bikini in your face, "And today is the day!". You take the piece of fabric off your face and stare at her like she lost her mind, "The day I get suffocated by my own bikini?" "What?! No! I mean… maybe, but no! You need to get ready, we have to go out!" "Go where?" "To the event of the century!". You blink slowly, "Yunah, if this is another hippie bazaar where you force me to buy energy crystal necklaces, I swear…" "It’s not!". She kneels on the bed and raises the sunscreen bottle like a villain about to start a monologue. "Today is the day we enjoy summer, and I am not letting you bury yourself under blankets like a depressed sea turtle!".

You blink. Then blink again. Then yawn and curl back on the bed, "Too late" "But Yn you don’t get it!". She pops the sunscreen bottle open with a little too much enthusiasm, and in an almost cinematic disaster, a jet of white lotion shoots straight to your forehead. Silence fills the room. You close your eyes, feeling the sticky mess slowly sliding down your eyebrow. Yunah’s eyes widen, her mouth opening in slow realization, "It’s fine. I can fix this" "I'm going to kill you," you say, completely serious. She throws herself off the bed before you can grab her, laughing as she yells, "Not before I force you to have fun!".

You and Yunah are on a beach on the east coast, where you’ll be spending the 2 next weeks in a paradisiacal bungalow along with Huening Kai, the missing piece of your 3 pieces puzzle, who is staying for a few days with his sisters. The following weeks will be all about no worries. No studying, no medicine— just sun, the beach, friends, and relaxation. And the best part? No boys. 

Yunah is lying on her beach towel, sunglasses on, her body relaxed as she bathes in the sunlight, soaking up vitamin D. You’re beside her, lying on your stomach, reading a new romance novel while enjoying your sunbathing session, until— a volleyball lands right in the middle of your book. She pushes her sunglasses down to her nose and quickly sits up, her mouth parting in indignation, “What the hell is this?! Who do they think we are, huh!? These half assed volleyball players!” “Calm down, Yun. It was probably an accident”, you say, turning to her, “Calm down?! They almost took my bestie’s head off, and you want me to stay calm?! The last thing I’m gonna be is calm!”. You chuckle— she’s a drama queen, but it’s cute that she cares about you. 

The sound of footsteps coming from the horizon catches both of your attention. You look in its direction, a tall male figure comes running towards the two of you, his black shoulder length hair, porcelain skin, and toned body give him away immediately— “Yeonjun?!”, you both say in unison, not expecting to see him out of the university hallways. He smiles apologetically, running his fingers through his soft hair, “Hey, girls… Sorry about the ball”. You glance at Yunah, she’s no longer angry as before– Yeonjun has this strange, soothing effect on everyone. All it takes is for him to speak, to glance in a certain way, and everything just calms down, falls into place. As if the way he talks, the way he looks at people, is some kind of calming spell. You know it because you’re just as much a victim of it as Yunah is. 

He looks at you and smiles, “Hey, Yn!” “Hi, Yeonjun” “Sorry for interrupting your reading, the serve kinda got out of control”, he scratches the back of his neck, embarrassed. You smile back at him, “It’s fine, Jjunie��, you say, tossing the ball back to him, “No worries”. You and Yeonjun have known each other since the beginning of the year when you had a practical suturing class at the university hospital and, well… he was your first patient. Choi Yeonjun is a fashion student who loves extreme sports, and on that particular day, he almost tore his arm in half while rock climbing with a group. He sat on the stretcher in front of you and told you stories about his adventures, and since then, you two have been friends— though no one really knows just how close you are.

“No problem at all, Yeonjunnie. You look radiant, you must be having a great time playing volleyball, huh?”, Yunah says sweetly, her voice high pitched, giggling in between words— it’s obvious she has a crush on Yeonjun. You scoff, amused, but she ignores you, “Yeah, yeah. The game’s fun, except Beomgyu always makes these wild, uncontrolled serves, like the one just now, and I’m always the one who has to go get the ball”. Your calm expression vanishes as if melting ice in a desert, “B-Beomgyu, you say?”, you mumble, “Yeah. Choi Beomgyu, from fine arts. Do you know him?”. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks, if it weren’t for the sun, they would’ve noticed how red your face just got, “Well… I…” “Oh, she knows him alright”. A deep, firm voice interrupts you— his voice. Beomgyu emerges from the same direction Yeonjun came from, wearing dark green swim trunks and his hair half tied. And on top? Nothing. Completely shirtless. Why does he have to be so ridiculously hot?, you ask yourself. Yeonjun glances at you, then at Beomgyu, as does Yunah, “You guys… know each other?”, he asks, his tone neutral but… surprised. “Oh, we do. My friend doctor Yn took care of me the other day”, Beomgyu says with a teasing tone, and of course, all eyes are now on you.

You gulp and reply timidly, “Well… he fell off his skateboard and had an open wound” “Ah!” Yeonjun laughs, “He always does”, Beomgyu hits his head and for a moment, you see Yeonjun’s patience falter. He takes a deep breath, clearly fighting against himself to avoid punching his friend's exposed ribs. “Anyway, would you guys like to join our game?”, the older guy gestures toward the volleyball net, where Soobin and Taehyun are waiting impatiently for the ball. “We’d love to, but Yn and I are working on our tans now, right?”, Yunah says, and you simply nod, grateful that you don’t have to make that decision yourself. “Ah, what a shame. Guess I’ll see you later then. I wanna check out that tan”, Yeonjun says playfully. “Of course! See you later”, Yunah replies before he waves and walks away.

But he forgets to take Beomgyu with him.

He stares at you with a smirk on his lips. To him, finding you here is like stumbling upon a pot of gold— now, summer’s going to be interesting. “What a convenient surprise”, he murmurs, “Sorry, what?”, Yunah asks, since you can’t seem to form a single word. He giggles, clearly enjoying your misery, “See you around, Yn”, he says, winks, and then jogs toward his friends, leaving you with slightly parted lips and a mind in absolute chaos, yet completely blank at the same time.

Yunah looks at you, her lips parted. You glance at her, indifferent, "What?" "Choi Beomgyu, huh!? How did I not know this, Yn Yln?!" "Because isn’t important?" "It is important! He's hot, talented, the king of the skatepark!”. You roll over on your towel, focusing on your tan, "And should I care?" "You should!", her voice is loud, indignant, "Come on, he's everything!" "I told you, Yun, we're just acquaintances" "Yeah, right. The way he looked at you tells me otherwise". You swallow hard, "W-what do you mean?" "That he look at you like you're the most desirable woman in the world", you laugh, dismissive, "Yeah, sure" "Well, if you don't want to believe it, fine. But I know what I saw". She puts her sunglasses back on and leans back to relax.  

But her words have the opposite effect on you, leaving you completely absorbed in your thoughts— thoughts of him, Choi Beomgyu.

"I really don’t wanna go", Yunah pushes your arm, "Come on, Yn!" "Are you seriously going to let me go to a party all by myself?" "I always let you!" "But I need a wingwoman, and that’s you" "Now I want to go even less" "Please, Yn! Do it for your beloved Yun, pretty please?", she pouts. You groan, rolling your eyes, "Ugh, I hate you" "But you’re coming?" "...Yes" "Yay! I love you, I love you!". She kisses your cheek before bouncing to the bathroom to get ready for the party. 

The bar is decorated in a tropical luau theme, vibrant decorations of palm leaves and colorful lights creating a lively, almost surreal atmosphere. The low bass of the music vibrates in your chest, the beat pulsing through you with every note. The indistinct chatter of voices mixes with the music rhythm, making everything feel like a blur of sound. The bright, flashing lights dance across the room, projecting chaotic colors on the walls, and you feel your head starting to spin. 

This isn’t the kind of place you’re used to. You’re not used to being in a space where the noise and the lights seem to swallow you whole, making you feel both energized and disoriented at the same time. You knew you shouldn't have come to this party. The uneasy feeling tingling in your stomach only confirms it. Yunah notices it too, "Hey, Yn…  are you okay?" "Y-yeah. I’m fine" "Are you sure?" "Well, I…" "Yn! Yun!”. Yeonjun's voice cuts through the noise and before you can react, he's already in front of you, arms open, pulling you into a tight hug. "I didn’t expect you to come!", he says against the curve of your neck, his warmth spreading across your skin. "I’m so glad you made it".

You glance at Yunah, who has a guilty smile dancing on her lips. The little brat knew Yeonjun would be here, along with his friends— including Beomgyu. And she knew you wouldn’t have come if you'd known. You shoot her a deadly glare before wrapping your arms around Yeonjun, trying to push the tension aside. How were you supposed to disappoint him after that? So you laugh softly, forcing a smile, "I’m glad to see you too, Jjunie". He lets you go, "Come join us, girls! We’re playing a game" "Which game?" "Seven Minutes in Heaven" "Seriously?! What are we, sixteen?". But before you can go any further, Yunah cuts you off, "We’d love to play!". And just like that, against your will, you find yourself sitting in a circle facing Beomgyu, who has a smirk printed on his lips, while a soju bottle spins between you.  

As if you weren’t already unlucky enough, the damn bottle seals your fate, the neck pointing straight at Beomgyu and the base at you.

The murmur of your friends and Beomgyu's penetrating gaze make the air thicken around you, almost suffocating— are you really about to spend seven whole minutes alone in a room with him? The answer is yes. Your body being pushed by Yunah and Yeonjun toward the coat closet, the sound of the door shutting and the click of the lock confirm it. It feels more like a nightmare than anything else.

You freeze, waiting for your eyes to adjust to the darkness of the small space. Even from a distance, you can feel the heat of Beomgyu’s body in the air, his presence weighing down on you, still and silent. His breath and the muffled sound of the music are the only things you can hear. You've been alone with Beomgyu before, but now it's different. Now, you're locked in a tiny coat closet for whole 7 minutes, with no chance of escaping. It feels like the walls are closing in around you, but you're not that lucky— you'll have to face it alive.

 “So”, he says, wiggling his eyebrows, leaning his back on the wall and crossing his arms. “I’m all yours for 7 minutes” “So what?” “We can do whatever you want to” “Well, I don’t want to do anything” “Really? Are you sure?”, he leans in, “Cause I have a couple of things I can think of”, you can feel his hot breath brushing against your face. You close your eyes, breathing him in, the scent from before isn't there anymore, you can feel his natural musk now and it's very very attractive— almost torture. “Get off, bro”, he steps back, still smirking, “Are you afraid of intimacy, Yn?” “What?! No! I just think you’re annoying as fuck” “Okay, okay, we can just sit here and talk if you want to”. He says, sitting on the floor in a cross legged position. You look at him suspiciously, “Or you don’t want to talk either?” “Talking is fine” “So, tell me how you got into medicine. And don’t come with that sugar coated story about loving the profession and blah blah blah”.

You sit in front of him, crossing your legs as well, “Helping people. I’m good at it. Even though I usually don’t get anything in return, it’s something I genuinely enjoy doing” “You usually don’t get anything in return?” “Yeah” “And why is that?” “I don’t know. It’s always been like that in my life. I put effort into others, and they just turn their backs to me at the end”. You run your fingers through your hair, “Not that you’d understand” “I do”, you look at him, surprised, “I don’t have many people I can actually rely on in my life. Except for my family, I just have Yeonjun, Soobin and Taehyun” “But… what about the guys from the skatepark?”. He smiles, but there’s no amusement in his act, “We just like to skate together. In our best, we’re all close as a family, but ask for someone’s help, for someone’s support”, he chuckles, bitterly, “During dark times, they all vanish in a second”. He carries bitterness in his voice, as if he himself had experienced it.

You look at him, surprised, "Wow, that was... unexpected", you say, your jaw almost on the floor. He grins, though there’s still a trace of melancholy on his lips, "Why do you think that?" "I just… I didn’t expect someone like you to feel this way" "Someone like me?", there’s curiosity in his voice, "Yeah. Someone who's always surrounded by people, always smiling, someone who… radiates charisma,  you know?". He exhales softly, "You know, Yn, deep down, I’m just a guy who feels alone, looking for a place to belong. You say I’m annoying, but maybe I’m just trying to be noticed". There’s vulnerability in his voice— his feelings are raw and real. You know it. You feel it. 

You look at him as if you've just made a revolutionary scientific discovery. Choi Beomgyu is actually a lonely guy who annoys people for attention?! Now, that you didn’t see coming. Not at all. "Well, you're doing a great job at that. Anyone can notice you from a mile away”, you say, trying to make him feel better.  But he is not in the mood for little white lies, so he lets out a dry chuckle, shaking his head, "People notice me when I make them laugh, when I’m fun. But when I’m not, they just move on”. His voice is light, playful as always. But for some reason, it doesn’t feel like a joke.

You place your hand over his, giving it a light, reassuring squeeze, "Well, you have me now. Besides your friends". He stares at your hand covering his, clearly caught off guard by your gesture, "That doesn’t mean I like you. Or that I find you any less annoying", you add. "What do you mean you don’t like me?! I thought we were friends!", he exclaims dramatically, almost yelling. You laugh, "Oh no, I only said that to get rid of you, silly", but your tone is teasing. He gasps, placing a hand over his chest, pretending he is deeply offended, "Yn, you are hurting me!" "It’s okay, I can take care of you", you reply. He smiles, and you can’t help but smile too, "And, Yn..." "Hum?" “I recognize what you do for me. If that means anything to you”.  

Choi Beomgyu is the only guy who can make your palms sweat with just a look, a smile, or even a single sentence.  

You nod, pulling your hand back. He looks at the spot, feeling the absence of your warmth but you don’t care, he doesn’t need to know the effect he has on you. Even though you feel, almost know, that he’s already aware of it.

The next day dawned stormy. After you returned to the bungalow from the party, the world dissolved into rain. Throughout the night, thunder and lightning drove everyone away from the sand and sea. By the morning, the rain had ceased, but its effects lingered. The air is more humid and cooler than usual, and piles of sand are scattered along the shore, a result of the strong winds. And the sea is rough. But it isn’t just the sea that is feeling rough— Yunah is part of that club this morning too. 

And guess who she drags to the convenience store? Yes, you. And unfortunately, all the hangover medicine is sold out— apparently, a group of young people bought the last ones. She groans, placing a hand on her head as you both walk back to the bungalow, "Ah! Yn, I'm never drinking again", she whines. You laugh sarcastically, "Sure. Do you know how many times I’ve heard that, Noh Yunah?" "No, but this time I'm serious. I'm a mess. If I don't die, I’m never touching alcohol again" "You’ll survive, drama queen”.

Out of nowhere, she stops, grabs your arm, and pulls you behind a palm tree, "Oh my god, Yn! Tell me I’m not hallucinating!" "Huh?! What?" "Aren’t those Soobin and Beomgyu over there?". She points toward a wooden bench a little ahead of where you are— 2 tall men with black hair are sitting with their backs turned to you, staring at the sea, immersed in a conversation. "Uh, yeah, I think it’s them" "Are they drinking Pedialyte?! I’m going over there to ask for some”. She steps out from behind the palm tree, but you pull her back, "No, you're not" "Why not?" "Because if you go, I’ll have to go too" "And?", you swallow hard, your eyes unable to look away from Beomgyu. 

Yunah follows your gaze and then looks back at you with a smirk on her lips, "What happened in that closet last night?" "Nothing…" You feel the blood rushing to your cheeks. "We just talked". She grins, "And I don’t find Choi Yeonjun attractive" "I'm serious!". You try to argue, but she clearly doesn’t believe you, "Okay, if nothing happened, then you can come with me and ask for some of their Pedialyte". She turns her back to you and walks toward them. You bury your face in your hands, holding back a scream, then reluctantly follow her.  

"This is never going to work", Soobin tells Beomgyu when he catches a glimpse of a figure approaching from the corner of his eye. He looks in the direction where you and Yunah are coming from and grins, "Hey! Isn't that Yunah and Yn?", he says, poking Beomgyu’s arm to get his attention. Beomgyu looks away from whatever he was doing and glances back— Yunah is confidently walking toward them while you clumsily try to catch up to her. He smiles at the scene. 

"Yunah! Yn!", Soobin greets you both. Yunah jumps forward like she just won the lottery. Her excitement is so raw, it almost feels contagious. Almost. She twirls a strand of hair around her finger, eyes sparkling as she greets Soobin, “Soobinnie! Gyuuu! Hiii!”, Yunah says, overly excited, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. "Hey, girls! How are you? Did you enjoy the party last night?" "We looooved it! But, you know… hangovers are a problem. We tried to buy some Pedialyte, but the store was sold out". Soobin chuckles, "I think that’s our fault", he gestures toward a ridiculous number of bottles in a bag on the ground, "Yeonjun and Taehyun are going to need some too", he explains, "But you can take some as well". Yunah grins from ear to ear and bends down to grab a bottle of strawberry flavor like a starving lion that just found a defenseless prey.

You remain standing, watching her, trying to ignore the weight of Beomgyu’s gaze on you. "And you, Yn?", Soobin asks, "She didn’t drink last night", Beomgyu answers for you. You just know he’s smirking without even looking at him, “Right, yn?”. You swallow hard, your gaze meets Beomgyu’s. His eyes catch yours, and you feel your chest tighten, a mix of frustration and something else you can’t name. Your heart skips a beat. Damn him. “Yeah. right”.

You thought that as soon as your friend grabbed her hangover medicine, you would leave. But instead, she decides to start a conversation with Soobin, "Isn’t it a crazy coincidence that we’ve run into each other on vacation 3 times in a row without even planning it?". Soobin takes a sip of the medicine and nods in agreement, "Pretty crazy, isn’t it?" "Yeah. How long are you guys staying here?"  "A month"  “Oh, wow! That’s a long time", she says, and he nods again, “What about you?” "Just 2 weeks, the bungalow is too expensive for just the two of us to afford alone for too long" "Why don’t you two join us? We’re at my family’s beach house and there’s an extra room. I think it’d be nice for all of us to stay together since we keep running into each other”, he grins, making his dimples appear, “That is, if you don’t mind sharing a room" "Oh my God, of course not! That would be amazing, right, Yn?”. 

Sharing a house with Beomgyu?! You’re not mentally strong enough for that. So quickly you come up with an excuse, "What about Huening?", her excitement melts away, "Oh, right… Yeah, we have a friend, Kai, who's joining us tomorrow morning. That makes three of us for one room" "Ah. What a shame, maybe next ti…" "I’ll share my room with him", Beomgyu cuts Soobin off. "Are you serious?!", Yunah says, excited, "Yeah. I’m serious”, he replies to her, but his eyes never leave you, making it clear he’s doing this for you— to keep you close. "Then it’s perfect” "But… shouldn’t we check with Kai first?" "I’m sure Kai won’t mind. He always shared a room with his 2 sisters. What’s one guy around his age?". You look calm on the outside, but on the inside, you're thinking of all the different ways you'll torture Yunah later, “But…” “Look, I have a better idea. Beomgyu comes to my room and Kai can take his”, Soobin decides. 

The three of them look at you, waiting to see how you’ll argue this time— except there’s nothing left to argue, "Fine. Whatever”, you finally say.  "Great! I’ll go tell the guys we have new guests” "I’m coming with you. I can’t wait to see Yeonjun’s face", Yunah says before following Soobin, once again leaving you alone with Beomgyu.  

He watches the two of them disappear, then turns his attention back to what he was doing before you arrived. You glance at his hands— one is holding a bottle of Pedialyte, and the other is gripping a rock, which he’s using to hit the plastic cap. Apparently, he’s trying to open the bottle. With a rock. You furrow your brows and sit beside him on the bench, "You know that’s never going to work, right?". He gives you a sideways glance, "Doesn’t hurt to try". You open your mouth to argue how stupid his idea is, but a burst of wind makes you shiver. Of course Beomgyu notices it.

 He sets the rock and the bottle aside, then pulls off the gray hoodie he’s wearing and holds it out to you. You just stare at it, not even considering accepting it, "You’ll get sick, and there won’t be anyone to take care of you, so you better just take it" "Yunah will take care of me if I get sick!" "With her head spinning from all the alcohol she drank last night? I don’t think so". You keep staring at the hoodie— he has a point. "The rest of us can’t even tell the difference between a cold and the flu. You’re our one and only hope, Yn, so please don’t get sick”. You chuckle softly, then take the hoodie from his hands and slip it on. The fabric is warm yet light, like a cloud against your skin. And the best part? It smells like him— not the sweet scent of his perfume or the woody scent of his deodorant, but his natural scent. Indescribable, yet unmistakably his, "Aren’t you going to be cold?" "I can handle it" "Thanks…”

"You seem to love the idea, huh? Of staying with us", he teases, "Yeah, right. Having you as a next door neighbor sounds like a dream", you reply, sarcasm thick in your voice, "Damn, Yn. You’ve been in a bad mood these days. What’s up?" "It’s just…”. You hesitate but end up letting it out, “I’m nervous about my project” "What project?" "I'm going to make a presentation at the cardiology academic league". He chuckles, you’re unbelievable, "You’re thinking about that during vacation?!" "It’s going to be the most important event of the whole fall!" "What’s it about?" "The role of the heart in processing emotions" "Wow, you're really a hopeless romantic, aren't you? If you need to run some experiments, I volunteer to mess with your feelings”, he says, wiggling his eyebrows. Seriously? Don’t say, you think sarcastically, as if he already doesn’t already do that without any purpose. You roll your eyes and mutter, "You don’t understand", he notices your frustration. Nudging your thigh, he catches your attention, "Hey, it’s gonna be fine. You’re dr. Yn, there’s nothing you can’t do" "Yeah… I hope so”, you say, still unconvinced. 

He feels your lack of confidence, so he tries to distract you, "Hey, have you ever surfed before?" "Surfing? No, never. Do you surf?" "You bet. I can teach you if you want" "Should I really trust you to teach me how to skate on the water?", he laughs, "Yes, I’m actually pretty good at it" "I don’t know about that" "How about this: I'll go out there, catch some waves, and you can judge for yourself". You bite your lower lip, hesitate, but then nod. He brightens up, a grin growing on his lips, "Great! I’ll go grab my board then” "Okay". He runs off through the sand like a kid, and you can’t help but smile— his energy is contagious.

When Beomgyu returns with a surfboard under his arm and a surf shirt on, you no longer think it's a good idea to go into the sea. The waves are convulsing violently. You look at him, who seems to not care about it, "Beomgyu... I don't think you should go into the water" "Why not?!" "It looks dangerous". He glances at the sea, seemingly unbothered, and then turns back to you with a shrug, "Nah, it's fine. I’ve got this". He takes a step forward in the sand, but you grab his arm— your touch makes him twist inside. "Beomgyu... are you going to be okay?", he smiles, "You're so cute when you're worried about me", he holds you by the shoulders, "I'll be fine, Yn” "Really?" "Relax, you’re not getting rid of me that easily".

With a light pat on your head, he comes into the water. Your heart races. Beomgyu might be annoying, but you don’t want anything bad to happen to him, just the thought of it makes you shiver.

The waves crash violently against the shore, a wild mix of water and foam. Beomgyu is just a small figure in the middle of the enraged ocean, his surfboard cutting through the waves like a knife through the air. Each wave he rides feels like it might be his last, the board dipping and swerving, as if the ocean wants to pull him under. You can barely see through the spray of water, the sky and sea blurring into one. You watch him with your breath caught in your throat, the roar of the water fills your ears, and for a moment, you lose sight of him. You grip the sleeve of his hoodie tightly, eyes shut, anxiety building in. 

There’s silence— only the sounds of crashing waves and your own heavy breath fill the space. 

And then, you hear it— his voice, a triumphant scream. You snap your eyes open, heart pounding, and there he is, above the waves, balanced perfectly on top of the surfboard, riding the chaos of the sea effortlessly. You can’t help but smile, the relief flooding you, and without thinking, you shout back, a cheer of victory, "Yay! Beomgyu!". The wave finally crashes, sending a spray of water into the air. Beomgyu rides the remnants of the wave, his movements fluid and confident as he paddles toward you, a wide grin spreading across his face— he feels like he has conquered the sea itself.

He walks toward you, water dripping off him, a triumphant glow in his eyes. The smile on his face makes your heart flutter, and for a moment, everything feels perfect.

Until…

Beomgyu screams, loud and painfully, dropping the surfboard, which stays tethered to his ankle. His face twists in pain as he frantically splashes his leg in the water. From afar, you can tell that something is wrong, “What happened?”, you ask, walking toward him, the current making it harder to move. “Shit… I think it was a jellyfish”, he growls through clenched teeth, gripping his leg. Your eyes widen, “You’re kidding, right?” “Do I look like I’m kidding, Yn?”, he groans, his face furrowing, and you can tell he's in pain.

Without thinking twice, you grab his arm and start guiding him back to the shore, “Come on, we need to get out of here”. Beomgyu limps along beside you, the pain evident on his face. As soon as you reach the sand, you make him sit down. He props himself up on his elbows, watching as you unstrap his board and examine the red, irritated mark on his skin, “Yeah, that jellyfish really got you” “AM I GONNA DIE?!”, he yells, loud and dramatic. “What?! No! … At least I hope not”, you mumble, praying he doesn’t listen to the last part. “Do something, Yn. It’s hurting” “There’s a hot spring nearby”, you say, “The water might help ease the pain”. He nods, biting his lip to hold back another groan of pain, “Okay. If it doesn’t work, I’ll let you have my hoodie”. You shrug. “I’ll sell it and use the money to buy a new book. To replace the one you ruined with your degenerate volley serve. A weak chuckle escapes him, “Fair”.

The two of you make your way to the natural spring. The place is almost magical— a small stream that feeds in a little pool of crystal clear water, surrounded by large gray stones with moss on top and cascading ferns swaying gently in the breeze.It really looks healing. Beomgyu sits on one of the rocks and dips his calf into the water, letting out a sigh of relief as the warmth starts to work its magic. “Better?”, you ask, sitting beside him, “Way better”. He murmurs, tilting his head back with a groan of relief. You swallow hard, watching the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he leans back. It makes something pulse deep in your core. You want to tear your clothes off. Shit. “Who would’ve thought I’d survive a jellyfish attack thanks to you”, he says, with amusement in his voice. You roll your eyes, but a smile escapes your lips, “Don’t be dramatic”. 

He turns to look at you, his eyes glowing with something different, “I’m serious. You’re always so… lost inside your own head, thinking about everything, but that’s just who you are, isn’t it? You care about everything, even about an idiot who got himself stung by a jellyfish— more than you do about yourself”. You feel warmth spread across your chest. He’s looking at you in a way that makes your stomach flip and your palms sweat, “You’re not an idiot”, you say softly. Beomgyu smiles, small but sincere, “Is that a compliment?”, he teases, “Maybe”. Silence falls between you, but it’s not uncomfortable. On the contrary, there’s something in the air, like magnetism, pulling you closer to him. Something you can’t quite name. Beomgyu leans in a little more, his eyes flickering to your lips for a split second before locking onto yours again. Your heart races.

He wants this too.

You don’t know who moves first, but suddenly your faces are so close.  His breath is warm against your skin, as hot as the steam rising from the water around you. Your eyes flutter shut. His lips are just about to brush against yours when you hear a loud splash, followed by a sharp gasp, “Oh my god!”. Beomgyu freezes at the familiar voice, his lips mere centimeters from yours. 

Both of you turn your heads around at the same time to find Yeonjun standing there, knee deep in the water, staring at you like he just walked in on a crime scene, “Were you guys about to kiss?!”, he practically shrieks, scandalized. You slap a hand over your mouth, holding back a laugh, while Beomgyu groans in pure frustration, burying his face in his hands as he sincerely mutters, “Dude, I hate my life”. You, on the other hand, can’t hold it in and burst out laughing, the moment between you two dissolving into thin air. “What the hell are you even doing here?” you ask, amused,“I just wanted to relax, but apparently, I just stepped into a drama”, Yeonjun says, looking personally offended.

Beomgyu lifts his head, shooting him a deadly glare, “Can you, I don’t know, just leave?”. Yeonjun crosses his arms, “No need to be rude, lover boy. I’ll leave you two alone… eventually”. You sigh, “Yeonjun…” “Alright, alright, I’m going!”, he raises his hands in surrender, backing away dramatically, “Enjoy your little moment or whatever”. But just when you think you’re finally free of him, he yells over his shoulder, “Use protection!”. Beomgyu tosses a handful of water at him, “Why don’t you trip over a rock and die!?”. Yeonjun takes off running, cackling. 

You glance at Beomgyu, biting your lip to hold back another laugh. He looks absolutely defeated,“The universe hates me”, he grumbles. You smile, “Maybe it’s just Yeonjun who hates you”. He sighs, shaking his head, but as you watch him, a thought flickers in the back of your mind:

This isn’t over at least not yet. Deep down, you know it’s only a matter of time.

For the rest of the summer, you and Yunah spent time with the rest of the boys—Yeonjun, Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu. And of course, Kai, who joined you along the way. To your surprise, it turned out to be the funniest summer ever. You guys played games, camped on the beach, and the boys sang songs around the bonfire. Soobin tried to cook for you, but it was a big disaster. Thankfully, Yeonjun and his supply of ramen saved the day. Yunah flirted with everyone, except Kai, who was like an older brother to her, and Beomgyu, who she considered yours, even though you never admitted it. As for Beomgyu… well, he was a complete tease, yet somehow, completely dreamy. Every opportunity to press you against a wall and mutter some provocative words against your lips, but without actually kissing them, he took it.

You told yourself that you hated it, but deep down, you knew you liked it. And now, at the end of your trip, you knew you were going to miss him— his mischievous grin as he splashed water on you while you were sunbathing, the thick tension between you whenever no one else was around, his flirtatious words... But also his calm moments, like when he would pick up a guitar, sit down to draw, or completely focus on his skateboarding or surfing moves. You’re going to miss everything.

Now, the whole group is sitting together in the dining room of the house. The room is lively, filled with the voices of the group scattered around the long table. Taehyun cooked with the help of Huening— an exception for this special night. The scent of freshly prepared food lingers in the air, blending with laughter and the clinking of glasses. You are sitting next to Yunah, trying to focus on your conversation, but your mind is elsewhere. Or rather, on someone else.  

Choi Beomgyu.  

He is sitting on your right, his leg is brushing lightly against yours under the table. Still, you tell yourself it’s just a coincidence. Then, his elbow brushes against yours, and without warning, he reaches out and places a piece of meat on your plate. You blink, surprised, and lift your gaze to him, “Eat”,  he said, not even looking at you. You raise an eyebrow, “I can serve myself, thanks” “I know you can, Yn, but you’re not eating enough”. He lifts his brows, challenging you to argue. You open your mouth to protest, but he simply takes another bite of his food, as if he hadn’t just provoked you.

You shake your head in disbelief and sigh, bringing the piece of meat to your mouth before he decides to feed you himself. Suddenly, you feel a touch— his hand is under the table, resting lightly on your thigh. Your body stiffens immediately, your chopsticks frozen mid air. 

You look at him. Beomgyu continues to act as if nothing is happening, chatting with Soobin about something trivial, his expression completely relaxed like his fingers aren’t tracing slow, teasing circles on your skin, just below the cuffed hem of your denim shorts. You narrow your eyes, What the hell is he doing? With a discreet movement, your hand reaches down, grabbing his wrist, fingers tightening in a silent warning for him to stop. Beomgyu finally turns his head toward you, amusement flickering in his gaze, lips curling into that typical smirk of his.

 He leans in slightly, his voice barely above a whisper, meant just for you, “What’s the problem, Yn?” “The problem is you”, you muttered just as quietly, irritation dripping from your words. He smiles, running his tongue slowly over his lower lip, “Oh, I know”. Then, he simply turns back to his conversation with Soobin.  

The audacity.  

So that’s how he wants to play?  Feeling personally challenged, you flash a sweet smile before slowly trailing your hand down to his leg. Beomgyu doesn’t react at first, probably thinking you are going to return his touch.  

He is so wrong.  

Your nails dig into his skin in a firm squeeze. Beomgyu is used to Yeonjun squeezing his thigh, but unlike Yeonjun, your nails are long. As a result, Beomgyu chokes on his own saliva.  You keep an angelic expression, sipping your drink while he struggles to compose himself, “You okay?”, Soobin asks, offering a glass of water. Beomgyu gives him a forced smile, accepting the drink, “Yeah. Just… the food’s spicier than I expected”. 

He looks at you. You grin, devilishly, and continue to eat, satisfied. But before you can celebrate your victory, he leans in again, murmuring into your ear, “You’re gonna pay for that, babygirl”. And by the mischievous glint in his eyes, you know Beomgyu will keep his promise. 

You swallow hard, regret kicking in. For the rest of the dinner, you can’t focus on anything except the revenge awaiting you.

Dinner ended without further incidents, but you know Beomgyu didn’t forget. You could see it in the way he looked at you during dinner. In the way he smiled— slow, unhurried, like he knew something you didn’t.

You feel when he follows you to the bedroom, his presence heavy behind you. When the door closes, a shiver runs down your spine. The soft click of the lock is quiet, but loud enough to make your heart race. You turn around slowly, meeting his gaze,"W-why did you lock the door?", you mumble. The corner of his mouth lifts, and he steps forward, "Because I don’t want to be interrupted”.

Your body reacts before you can even form a response. You step back, but your back meets the wall too soon, and he is already close for you to escape. Too close, with one hand resting on the wall beside your face, shortening the distance between you, "What do you think you’re doing?", you mutter, heat creeping up your face. He tilts his head, the smirk never fading, "Making you pay. You think I forgot?". His voice is low, intimidating. 

You widen your eyes, "Beomgyu, I just squeezed your leg" "With sharp nails!", he’s loud again, "It was a reflex!" "A reflex?!", he repeats, eyes sparkling, "Funny... because it seemed pretty intentional to me” "You started it!". He chuckles softly, dark eyes drifting over your face before lowering to your lips. His fingers brush against your waist, slowly, playing with the hem of your shirt. Your body tenses under the teasing touch, a warm shiver running up your spine. You hold your breath, a small whine escaping your lips.

He isn’t just touching— you know he is playing with your mind, messing with your emotions.

"Beomgyu..." "Hum?", you hate the satisfied tone in his voice. You hate how weak your own voice sounded, your breath shortened— he knows exactly what he is doing.

The tip of his fingers trail down, tracing a light, torturous path along your waist until they reach your hips. You squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve the tension pooling between your legs. The room is silent, except for the sound of heavy breaths. The energy between you is so tangible it is almost suffocating. Your bodies are inches apart, and the tension is quite unbearable. "Are you going to stop me this time?", he murmurs, his lips so close you feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. You slowly lift your gaze, meeting his. His dark eyes are full of something that makes your stomach flip.

You try to open your mouth to answer, but he leans in before you could say anything, his breath now brushing against your jaw, "Answer me, Yn". Your heart pounds against your chest, "Beomgyu...". He smiles, satisfied. You shut your eyes for a second, trying to gather your thoughts, but his hands are already moving again, tracing a tempting path up your body.

Without hesitation, he goes deeper, his touch now bolder, fingers nibbling your collarbone, then trailing lower. Each touch seems to mimic the erratic rhythm of your heartbeat. You try to stay calm, but it is impossible when he has his hands spread across your back, pressing you against him with an intensity that sends your senses into overdrive. Slowly, he moves down again, his fingers brushing along the curve of your chest. You bite your lower lip, trying to suppress the overwhelming sensations he is stirring inside you. 

Beomgyu pauses for a moment, looking at you, his eyes shining with a mix of desire and amusement. "You teased me at dinner”, he murmurs, lips dangerously close to your neck, "Now it’s my turn”. You hold your breath when you feel his lips barely brush against your skin, a touch so warm, so slow—- it makes your mind spin. The feeling of his mouth against your sensitive skin, the way his tongue moves, exploring, makes you lose yourself. Every movement leaves you wanting more. His fingers tighten around your hip, pulling you closer. Your body reacts before your mind can even process it, your hips pressing against his, involuntarily. Of course, Beomgyu notices it, "I knew you’d like this", he whispers against your skin, pleased. You open your eyes, pupils blown, your entire body burning and you know that if you don’t do something, he will take this exactly wherever he wants, however he wants.

So, you do what you can. Your nails dig into his back this time— right on his trapezius. Beomgyu lets out a low groan, his eyes shutting for a second. When he opens them again, there is something different there— a dark, dangerous glint. He smiles slowly, "You just made things worse for yourself, Yn". Now, you know you are completely damned.

He moves even closer, pressing his leg between yours, just to tease you. You let out a quiet moan through gritted teeth as the firm muscle of his thigh rubs against your sensitive core, sending electric jolts through your entire body. You feel his bulge pressing against your stomach— so hard, so quickly. When your gazes lock, everything around you seems to vanish. 

There are only the two of you.

Beomgyu lifts a hand, cupping your cheek, the gesture delicate but charged with an urgent need. His eyes never left yours, his expression overwhelmed by desire, "You have no idea what you’re doing to me, Yn", he whispers, his voice rough, low, consumed by something greater than the two of you can control. Another shiver runs down your spine— you can’t look away, and you don’t want to. Your skin burns under his touch, and the feeling of being so close, yet not close enough, drives you crazy— you know you are about to give in.

"Yn...", he murmurs, his eyes shining with an intensity you have never seen before. There’s something almost possessive in his aura, as if he wants to claim every piece of you, in a way you can’t say no."I want you”, he whispers, voice dripping with need, "Right now". There is still an invisible line between you two, one that both of you know will soon disappear, "You want me, Yn. You don’t have to hide it", he is right— you want him, you need him. With every part of you.

So, for the first time in a long time, you let yourself relax. In one hurried, needy motion, you pull him close, finally closing the space between you. His lips are like the ocean— gentle at first, but quickly turning into a powerful force, devouring you whole. A muffled moan escapes your lips as you feel the warmth of his tongue against yours, melting deeply into the kiss. His touch is both fierce and soft, like he is devouring you with a deliberate care. You match his intensity, your hands trailing up beneath his shirt, slowly, savoring the warmth of his skin, tracing every ridge of his abdomen, meeting every expectation you have of him.

Just like you, Beomgyu is lost in the moment. His lips travel back to your neck and your body trembles at the heat of his breath against your skin. The pressure, the hunger, everything is building inside you—- like something ready to explode. There are no more words, just the sound of ragged breaths, tangled bodies, and a tension that is about to break. The whole world seems to disappear, and all that remains is the desire to lose themselves in each other.

Suddenly, he pulls away, gasping for air, "Do you think Yunah will be back soon?", his voice is shaky, "I saw her coming into Yeonjun’s room with Taehyun and a few bottles of whiskey". His mouth forms an "o", already thinking about the tea he is going to spill with Soobin the next day, "Looks like we’re not the only ones having fun tonight". You laugh, playing with the hem of his shorts, slowly undoing the knot that holds them in place. 

He follows your lead, pulling off his shirt just as you strip him of the rest of his clothes— slowly, teasingly, sending sparks through his entire system, which inevitably transmit to yours. You scan his half naked body, devouring him with your eyes, "Have you done this before?", he asks. You meet his gaze, nodding, "Good", he murmurs. Then, he tugs at the waistband of your shorts, unbuttoning and sliding them off with swift efficiency. His fingers brush against your stomach before moving up, taking your shirt with them. You gasp as the cool night air contrasts with the warmth of his body against yours.

His hands travel down to your ass, gripping tightly before lifting you effortlessly and carrying you to Yunah’s bed. Normally, you’d correct him, tell him it’s the wrong bed and make him take you to the right one, but you're too lost in the moment— too lost in him— to even consider it. The only thought in your mind is for him to throw you onto the bed and make you forget your own name. 

As if he could read your thoughts, your back soon meets the soft mattress and his face settles between your still covered breasts. He breathes you in, taking in your sweet natural scent before putting the fabric of the bikini to the side to capture one of your nipples. The circular motions of his tongue against the sensitive point send shivers down your spine, making you arch your back slightly as a moan escapes your lips. Your fingers grip the sheets, seeking relief.

He smirks at your reaction.

His hands return to your hips, untying your bikini bottoms and leaving you bare from the waist down. The sensation of your exposed skin against the fabric of his boxers drives you insane. You try to grind against him, but he pulls away, removing the last piece of clothing between you. You miss his warmth instantly, but soon, he’s crawling back over you, his body hovering above yours. 

His fingers slowly slip inside you, testing if you’re ready for him. A soft moan escapes your lips against his neck, "You're perfect for me, babygirl". He sucks on your earlobe, "Please”, you beg. Without hesitation, he aligns himself with your entrance and, torturously slow, pushes inside. A quiet whine slips past your lips, as you feel yourself stretching to take his length, "You're so tight", he groans. "Are you okay?", his voice is muffled against the curve of your neck, his whole body trembling as he holds himself back from tearing you in two with all his strength. "Y- yes. You can…”, you gulp, voice shaky, “... move if you want”. You feel his smirk against your skin.

With your back flat against the bed and your legs wrapped around his torso, your bodies move as one. Balls deep, his thrusts hit the sweet spot inside you, making you see stars. The connection between you is so intense, so intimate, you can barely breathe. Your body is reacting, the momentum building, and when he suddenly pauses, you force yourself to open your eyes. 

Beomgyu is watching you, his lips still close to yours, but he doesn’t move, "W-What?", you whisper, your voice trembling from the pleasure, "You're beautiful” "You’ve told me that before” "But you look especially beautiful like this, burning with desire for me". You chuckle, feeling the tightness in your core intensify with every second he doesn’t move inside you.  He obviously notices because, without warning, he resumes his thrusts— this time deeper, rougher. His sweat drips down on your chest mixing with your own. You're reaching your edge soon. 

The tension in the room reaches its peak, the air between you is on edge, like a wire ready to break. The growing tension in your gut finally snaps, the pleasure hitting you like fireworks lighting up the midnight sky. He comes first, and you follow right after. Beomgyu collapses on top of you, both yours and his breathing completely erratic. You stare at him, both of you fully aware that the line between you has been completely crossed.

The house is bathed into shadows, illuminated only by the moonlight that slips through the windows. The soft sound of the distant waves fills the silence— absolutely peaceful. Still, he couldn't sleep.

The house is cool and refreshing from the cold midnight breeze, but the room where you are sleeping feels warm, completely suffocating. He already has spent too much time lying beside you, feeling your rhythmic breath against the pillow, feeling the warmth of your body curled under his.

And that's a problem.

He needs to get out of there. He needs space to think— or maybe, he just needs to escape.

When he leaves the room and slowly shuts the door, he feels the fresh air against his skin. Beomgyu moves carefully down the hall, his bare feet against the cold floor. But just as he’s about to take another step down the dark hallway, he realizes he’s not alone.

"Yeonjun?"

His friend is leaning against the wall, arms crossed, as if waiting for him. Beomgyu furrows his brow, "What the hell are you doing awake at this hour?", Yeonjun raises an eyebrow, “I should be asking you that". Beomgyu rolls his eyes and steps to the side, trying to pass him, but Yeonjun blocks his way with his arm, "Where are you going?", Beomgyu shrugs, "Outside”. Yeonjun furrows his brow, "Why?", he holds up a joint case, "I can’t sleep. I need to relax". But the older man knows his friend, knows it’s not just about insomnia.

 He sighs and crosses his arms again, "What? What’s the problem?", Beomgyu mutters impatiently, "The problem isn’t you smoking. The problem is you leaving her room in the middle of the night like she's a one night stand". Beomgyu forces a low laugh, "It's not like I’m running away. I told you, I just can’t sleep, and I need to relax”. Yeonjun lets out a skeptical, nasal laugh, “Really? Because that sounds exactly like the opposite of what’s happening". Beomgyu opens his mouth to say it’s not like that, but even him doesn't believe those words.

 His silence makes that clear to Yeonjun, confirming what he already knew. He grunts, dragging a hand over his face, "Ah! Beomgyu...", he hesitates, choosing his words carefully, "Why do you always do this?". Beomgyu raises an eyebrow, "Do what?", Yeonjun steps forward, closing the gap between them, "You know what I mean”.

Beomgyu lets out a short, humorless laugh, "Are you going to start with this again?" "Yes", Yeonjun replies without hesitation, "Because it’s always the same thing”. Beomgyu turns his face away, his eyes fixed on the darkness of the hall, but Yeonjun continues, "Everytime you like someone you get close. You make them like you back, then, when you realize they feel the same, you run away".

Beomgyu clenches his jaw, his eyes burning with anger in the dim light of the night. The silence grows heavier between them. Beomgyu licks his lips, uncomfortable. He knows where this conversation is going. He knows that Yeonjun always sees right through him, that he always reads him like an open book, "You like her".

Beomgyu doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he swallows hard, searching for an answer in the back of his head, "If I liked her, what would that change?". Yeonjun tilts his head, his eyes fixed on him, "You’d distance yourself from her”. Beomgyu clenches his jaw, shifting his gaze to the joint case, as if that would absolve him of all the guilt. His smile falters, it’s so quick that someone less attentive wouldn’t notice— but Yeonjun notices. And in that moment, he knows something inside Beomgyu cracked just a little—  his fortress is starting to crumble.

Finally, he sighs, "Maybe with her, will be different”. Yeonjun lets out a short, humorless laugh,"Then why are you looking for a way to run away?". Beomgyu doesn’t answer, because they both know there’s no need to— the truth is implied in his unspoken words. Yeonjun takes another step closer, his fists clenching at his sides, “But this is Yn, and if you even think about doing this to her, you’ll have to deal with me”.

For a moment, the only sound between them is the distant noise of the ocean. Beomgyu closes his eyes for a second, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling settling in his chest. 

Then, he grabs his lighter and spins it between his fingers, "Good night, Jjunie”. He gives his friend a light pat on the shoulder and walks past him, heading for the front door with doubt heavy in his chest. Because Yeonjun is right— if he keeps this up, he’s going to end up pushing you away, leaving you completely broken. 

And that scares him more than staying. 

The last thing you remember was falling asleep with Beomgyu on top of you. You recall watching the slow rise and fall of his chest, the silence of the room filled only by his soft snores and the gentle sound of the ocean in the distance. His hair had cascaded over his shoulders, damp with sweat and clinging to his forehead

You fell asleep to that sight— only to wake up without it.

Your entire body is covered in goosebumps from the cold midnight air sneaking in from the open window. The first thing that crosses your mind as you wake up is the absence of his warmth. Slowly, you sit up, your limbs feeling heavy, your thighs aching from the roughness. Then, you stand, wincing slightly, and walk to the window to close it—only to catch sight of Beomgyu sitting outside with a trail of smoke curled above his head, blending into the night air. He’s on the sand, curled in on himself, staring at the ocean. Silent. Still. You smile softly, then glance around for something to wear, settling on the hoodie he lent you the day he got stung by a jellyfish. The one you, sneakily, never gave back.

The air outside is even colder. You wrap your arms around yourself and make your way toward him, quickening your pace. As you approach, the strong scent of the joint between his fingers reaches your nose, making your head pulse slightly. When he sees you, he grins lazily— still hazy from your scent, your taste, your touch. From you. The fact that he’s smoking is just a detail. “Hey, Yn," he murmurs, his voice even huskier than usual— a mix of sleep and smoke. "Are you smoking weed?!" "Yes. Want some?", he extends the joint to you, "Huh, no. Thank you" "Have you ever tried?" "Pot? No” "Do you want to get high?" "I'm not sure I even know how to smoke" "Want to try?".

You stare at the joint between his fingers. You never do things like this, "I don’t know if this is good for me". He chuckles sarcastically, taking a drag before speaking, "Go ahead, lecture me", you tilt your head, "Hum… lecture you?" "Yeah. Tell me about the harmful effects of smoking and all that shit”. You sit beside him on the sand, the strong scent of weed invading your senses, making you doubt you'd ever want to smoke that, "But it would ruin the mood", you say. He laughs, "You're surreal" "What do you mean?" "No one has ever captivated me as much as you", he says. You chuckle softly, "C’mon. I’m just an uninteresting college student" "No. You’re unique, unusual. I’ve never met someone like you before. Don’t belittle yourself, Yn". You nod, agreeing, trying to ignore how quickly your heart started racing.

"Isn’t this hoodie mine?", he asks, "Well… hum, maybe I… kind of forgot to give it back". He takes a drag, laughing under his breath, "Keep it. It looks better on you" "You think so?" "I know it does". You fidget with your hair, trying to hide the warmth spreading across your cheeks.

That’s when he pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket and slips it into the front pocket of the hoodie, "Here. Open it when you’re alone” "What is it?” "Something I made for you”. You fight the urge to peek at it right away. Instead, you follow Beomgyu’s gaze toward the horizon, watching the moonlight ripple across the dark ocean. You love these quiet moments with Beomgyu— when he isn’t talking nonstop and you can just enjoy his presence without being teased. But they are rare.  

"Hey, I have an idea”, he says, eyes glinting. "What?" "I can get you high without you having to smoke" "How?" "Just watch". He takes a big drag but doesn’t exhale. Instead, he leans in, lips hovering yours. Your heart pounds— how could it not? He is so close, his lips mere inches away, and you feel so tempted to kiss him, as if some supernatural force is drawing your lips closer. 

He holds your chin, eyes locked on your lips. You move forward slightly, just a fraction, unable to look away from his mouth either. He pulls your chin down, parting your lips just enough before exhaling the smoke into your mouth. Your lips brush against his lightly, sending a rush of serotonin through your body, intensifying your longing for him. But he pulls away too soon.  

"Inhale and exhale slowly", he instructs, and you do as he says. Beomgyu watches you with a smirk, proud, "Now you can get high with me". As if I needed weed to feel high when I’m around you, dork, you think. Soon, your body feels light and relaxed, almost like the waves in front of you.  

But Beomgyu looks completely normal, "Gyu", your voice sounds slower, heavier, "Yes?" "How come you’re still so freaking electric?". He laughs, "I’m used to it, I guess". You rest your head on his shoulder, "I like you, you know”. For the way you begged for him under his body hours ago,  he probably caught the hint that you like him, "I-I like you too, Yn" "That’s something I wanted to know. Why do you always say my name at the end of your sentences?" "I like your name inside my voice", he shrugs. You chuckle, "That makes two of us”. He grins, "You know, I…" "I'm afraid. Terrified of losing you.", your loose tongue cuts him mid sentence, "What?"  "If you ever get hurt, I… I will miss you. I don’t want to lose you. It would break me apart” "Why do you think I would get hurt?"

 "Skateboarding"

"Oh!", he suddenly freezes in place. His breath catches in his throat, and his chest tightens as if the air itself has thickened. He pulls his shoulder back, forcing you to lift your head. Your eyes meet, and you tilt your head slightly, "Are you okay?" "Yeah! Yeah, I...". He runs a shaky hand through his hair, trying to steady himself, but the motion feels desperate, as if he's trying to rid himself of the tension building in his body, "I just remembered I haven’t packed my bags yet". He stands, his legs unsteady, like his own body doesn't know what to do with the rush of panic flooding him, "S-sure" "I’ll see you tomorrow. We can... sit together in the car" "Alright…”.

He walks away, each step a struggle as the weight of your words presses on his chest. His mind races, Yeonjun is right. If he leaves, he’ll hurt you. But if he stays... he wouldn't be able to let go of skateboarding— it’s as much a part of him, of who he is, as his own personality, as the heart beating in his chest— and he’ll hurt you even more. No matter what he does, he's going to  hurt you.

His breath is shallow, there's a tightness in his chest not just from the panic, but from the realization that he’s cornered, Why does it feel like I’m suffocating, like there’s no way out?

You watch him, hoping he’s okay, hoping your words didn’t push him too far.

The next day, he sits next to Soobin in the car.

If hurting you it’s inevitable, then wouldn’t it just be better... to end it now?

Fall, beginning of the new semester:

The bell rings, loud and persistent, signaling the start of the first period of the semester. A sea of students moves through the hallways, searching for their classrooms, arms linked with their friends, laughing at their summer stories, filled with excitement for the beginning of the semester. But you— you remain still, eyes fixed on the photo you just hang on your locker.

A group photo taken during the summer.

You haven’t heard from Beomgyu in about two months, not even Yeonjun knew about him. Soobin also claimed he didn’t know either, but you’re convinced he lied. The way his voice faltered over the phone, how he quickly changed the subject— it all gave him away.

Still, you like to believe that Beomgyu just needed some time to himself. After all, he’s an introvert who spent the entire summer surrounded by 6 people almost the whole time. Even so, the constant thought that something might have gone wrong haunts you day and night.

You take a deep breath, shutting your locker, trying to focus on your classes. This semester, you’re one step closer to actually becoming a doctor, something that requires your full dedication. You also have an important project in your academic league. There’s no time for distractions like this. 

But then, you see something. 

Something that makes your confident strides slow until they stop completely. Your eyes sting with unshed tears. The bitter taste of a broken heart rises in your throat, exploding on your tongue. Because standing right in front of you there’s a tall figure with a hair that’s no longer as long as before and no longer black— but now a deep, almost maroon shade of red. And beside him, a girl of average height, who has her hand clasped in his hand while her head rests lightly on his arm. “B- Beomgyu?”.

Are you having a deja vu?

It doesn’t make sense. It makes even less sense than it did with Wonwoo. Maybe they are just friends, you and Yunah also cling to Kai like that. But the confirmation of the inevitable comes when your eyes meet— there's no longer that heat that provoked you throughout almost the entire trip. It’s like there’s nothing left inside of him. 

Looking away from you, he grabs the girl’s hips and abruptly presses her against the lockers, sealing his lips to hers just as intensely as he did with you. He’s hurting you on purpose. You know this isn’t just a coincidence, not some sudden impulse— it is calculated, meant for you to see, to feel the pain. And it works cause your instincts kick in, and anxiety spreads through you like wildfire, reaching every last nerve in your body. You turn your face away, knowing that if you keep watching, you’ll collapse right there in the middle of the hallway, and break apart. So, just like at the end of last semester, you let your feet guide you blindly, aimlessly, in a desperate, yet futile, attempt to escape the nightmare you're living. Why is this happening again?, you ask yourself. 

The wind crashes against your sobbing face, and that’s when you realize— you’re outside, at the very place where your fate was sealed at the end of last spring: the skatepark. You breathe heavily, watching the skaters rise and fall on the bowl ramps, the clouds shifting with the wind. The sun is light, the sky, maroon, the same color as Beomgyu’s hair. But he won’t save you this time. 

You turn to leave but bump into a broad and solid chest, which belongs to a man as tall as a lamppost. “S-Soobin?”, who had witnessed the entire scene, opens his mouth and closes it a few times before finally managing to speak, his voice trembling, consumed by anger, “Yn… can we talk?”. You nod, too drained to say anything other than, “Alright”.

The scent of paint fills the art room as you sit at one of the tables, watching Soobin pace back and forth, struggling to piece together something that both makes sense and doesn’t completely destroy you in just a few words. The sound of his footsteps is already starting to irritate you— you should be in class, not watching him hit his daily step count. Clearing your throat, you hop off the table, “Look, Soobin, I have a lot to do, so if you’re not going to say anything, please just let me go”. 

He finally stops walking and blocks the door, “No… please, don’t go. I…”, he runs his fingers through his hair and exhales sharply,  “...I lied to you when you asked me about him”. You cross your arms, “I noticed” “I’m sorry. I… I don’t know why I protected that idiot”. His voice is heavy with guilt, “I tried telling him that ignoring you wasn’t a good idea. I tried to understand why he was doing this when all he ever did  when we were at the beach was talk about you, think about you, but nothing made sense. Nothing makes sense” “He… talked about me?” “Yes! That day when you and Yunah showed up after the storm, I was teasing him about the closet game”, he says with a small smile, as if recalling how Beomgyu had turned red with anger at the mere thought of his best friend assuming he would ever disrespect you like that.

 You swallow hard, forcing the back tears, trying not to ache from how much you miss him, “I asked him if, well, you know…”, Soobin hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck, “And he got so mad at me. He said you deserve more than just a quick fuck in a closet during a drinking game with a guy you barely knew”. He chuckles, lost in the memory, “I don’t think he ever thought that way about anyone else, you know? That’s why, when we came back home and he just disappeared for an entire month, only to show up later and tell me all the shit he was doing…”, Soobin clenches his jaw. His previously pale cheeks are now colored in pink, and the vein in his forehead is prominent, “... I just refused to believe it”. 

He takes a deep breath in and rubs his temples before continuing, “I thought he was finally going to settle down with someone, but if I had known he was just going to throw himself into reckless parties and grab the first girl in front of him to put a damn couple ring on her finger, I would’ve warned you”. He walks over and pulls you into a tight hug, crushing you against his chest until you can barely breathe, “I’m sorry, YN”. The warmth of fresh tears slides down your cheeks as you hug him just as tightly, “It’s not your fault, Soobin. I was the one who misread everything”. He pulls back just enough to look at you without letting go, “No, YN. Don’t think that way. You didn’t do anything wrong, he’s the one being an asshole” “I just thought it was mutual. I felt like it was mutual. Or at least, I thought I did”, you sob, “But god… I miss him so much. Why do I have to lose him like this over a stupid misunderstanding?”. Soobin cups your face with his large hand, wiping away your tears, looking at you with pitiful eyes, “You should try talking to him. Maybe you two can at least be friends” “I can’t be his friend. Not when I know he holds someone else the way he held me”. He nods,“That’s okay. You don’t have to be his friend. But… at least try to talk to him. Just to… to be rejected”. You blink at him, stunned, “What?” “I know it sounds ridiculous, but… it’ll be easier for you to move on that way. Promise me you’ll at least consider it”. You hesitate, then nod. “Okay, Soobin. I promise”.  

But deep down, you’re not sure you have the courage to let him go.  

At least, not yet.

Days passed, and everything you did hurt. From waking up in the morning knowing that Beomgyu was never really yours, to having to watch him making out with his new girlfriend in the college hallways. In class, everything is unbearable— you stare at the professors' slides, but you don’t hear their voices. By the time you realize it, the lecture is already over, and your notebook remains blank. Your body feels heavy as you head home, doing nothing but throwing yourself on your bed and crying. You can’t even remember the last time you attended an academic league meeting.  

You drag yourself down the streets, seeing him in every face. The guys with long hair are just reminders of the person he erased by changing his appearance as if he wanted the version of himself that had you to never have existed. But you remember— and you doubt you'll forget anytime soon.  

Until one day, you go to meet Huening Kai in the music room and instead, you find him— Choi Beomgyu, pulling a guitar out of its case. 

Immediately, you freeze. Your fingers stiffen around the doorknob, your feet know you should turn around and leave before he notices your presence, but the only thing they manage to do is stay rooted to the spot, as if the floor beneath you had turned into quicksand. Inevitably, his gaze lifts and lands on your rigid figure. He tries to mask whatever is going on inside him, but you can see the storm of thoughts flashing across his face, "Yn…", his voice makes you shiver. It feels distant since you haven't heard it in so long, yet at the same time, it's as familiar as your own.  

Your eyes land on the shimmering ring around his finger, you feel stabbed. You just want to run and yet, you just want to hold him, to pull him against your chest and never let him go again. You shift your ankle, ready to leave, but then you remember the advice all your friends gave you: Let him reject you and move on.  

Taking a deep breath, you step inside the room, letting the door close behind you, "Have you seen Huening Kai?" "Huening? Not here"  "What?!”. You grab your phone, the first notification coming from him:  

‘Family drama with Lea 🫠’

‘I’ll call you later’

It was delivered an hour ago. You exhale deeply. So this encounter could have been avoided. Great. But you move forward. Sooner or later, this moment was bound to come. Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you say, "I thought you majored in Fine Arts" "I do, but I come here from time to time to play". He lifts the guitar in his hands, pretending he doesn’t know where you’re actually trying to go with this. "I guess I think I know you too well when in reality, I don’t know anything at all". 

He watches you for a few seconds before setting the guitar down on its stand and stepping closer, "Look, Yn…". But your voice, thick with unshed tears, cuts him off. You’ve been overwhelmed with emotions for weeks, "I-I don’t understand. Why are you with her?" "Because I love her" "L-love?" "Yeah, Yn. I love her". He says he loves her but he has no emotion in his voice. "But... what about me? What about us?" "We had nothing, Yn. It was just a summer trip between friends". Friends. His words hit you like an arrow right in the middle of your chest, "Friends?! What about the things we did…”, you lower your voice, “.... In the bedroom?” “It was pure physical, Yn. I was just… in the mood”. No fucking way that motherfucker is saying that. “Don’t tell me you didn’t feel it too, Choi Beomgyu! I know you felt it!” “How are you so sure, Yn!? Huh?! Did I say something?”, his voice is loud, angry, “Cause I felt it too…”. Did you really just… confused everything again? Did he actually use you and you weren't even aware of that?!

 He buries his face in his hands, letting a frustrated groan out, you are making everything more difficult for him. When he looks at you again he seems tired, his whole energy being drained, "Look, Yn, I’m sorry, but…" "No! Don’t apologize”, you interrupt him, sniffing, “I think it’s time for me to be rejected by you, to move on with my life. But for some reason, I still held on this tiny shred of hope, thinking you'd give me a real explanation or something that actually made sense", you chuckle, bitter, “I’m so stupid” "Yn... I like you. But liking you isn’t enough to make this work” "I never wanted to be ‘enough’, Beomgyu, I just... wanted to be with you". 

His gaze burns yours, you know he wants to say something— it’s written in his eyes. But nothing comes out of his mouth, the only sound you hear from him is his heavy breath, “I thought you felt the same way, but I was wrong. I see that now”, you pause again, giving him one last chance to say something, to try to fix things, but you only get his silence. “Goodbye, Beomgyu”, are your last words before walking out the door— without thinking twice or looking back.

The following months were chaotic. You entered focus mode, and your life began to revolve around one thing only— your studies. Well, not entirely. You also spent a lot of time with your friends, both old and new, the ones you made over the summer. They all became your biggest support system. Soobin, who studies computer science, helped you create incredible slides. Yeonjun picked out your outfit. Taehyun prepared an energy packed snack just for you. And as always, Yunah and Kai made sure to drown you in love.  

Now, standing on the auditorium stage, with all those people seated, waiting for you to begin your presentation, the nerves don’t feel as overwhelming anymore— thanks to them. And Beomgyu? You still think about him, but you've realized that your life is still a good one, with or without him.  

The room is silent, except for the faint sound of chairs shifting as students adjust in their seats. Your heart pounds in your chest— ironically, the very organ you studied for this presentation. You don’t see him, but Beomgyu is there, standing in the back, arms crossed over his chest. He shouldn't be here, but he is.  

The lights darken. 

You clear your throat and bring the microphone close to your lips, "The heart does more than just pump blood. For centuries, it has been a symbol of human emotions, and modern science confirms that this is more than just a metaphor”. The slide changes, revealing a diagram of the heart and its connections to the nervous system, "The heart is not just a pump that sends blood through the body. It contains a huge network with about 40,000 neurons, allowing it to communicate directly with the brain. This communication happens through the vagus nerve, a neural pathway that carries signals between the brain and vital organs”.  

You pause, scanning the room. Beomgyu is there, in the back, eyes locked on you. The last thing you expected was to see him. However, you stand firm, "When we feel intense emotions, the heart reacts before the brain has even fully processed the information. That’s why our heartbeat speeds up before an important moment, or why we feel a tightness in our chest when we’re sad”. 

You move to the next slide: a graph showing how heart rate fluctuates in response to different emotions, "Our heart doesn’t just respond to emotions, it can influence them. Studies show that heart rate directly affects brain regions responsible for emotional processing. Breathing techniques that regulate the heartbeats, such as meditation, help reduce stress and anxiety”.

You step slightly to the side, making space for the next slide: an image of a human heart intertwined with brain waves. "The brain releases hormones like oxytocin, the so-called ‘love molecule,’ and adrenaline, which prepares us for intense emotional reactions. The heart doesn’t produce these hormones, but it responds to them, regulating how we experience emotions in our body”. 

Finally, the last slide appears: the drawing Beomgyu made for you—a human heart, sketched in graphite on a notepad, rich in detail despite its rough edges. In the corner of the paper, is written:

‘This my heart, I’m giving it to you’.

That's the same drawing that had been hidden in the paper he secretly slipped into the pocket of the hoodie you were wearing. Almost like he was quite literally giving you his heart at that moment.  

This time, it’s his heart that races.  

"The heart and the brain work together to shape our emotions. Maybe that’s why, when we lose someone or something important, it feels like something inside us has physically broken. Because, in a figurative way, it has”. Your voice wavers on the last sentence, and finally, your eyes find his. For a second, everything else disappears— the classmates, the professor, the slides, it’s just the two of you and the weight of everything left unsaid. You continue, "But the heart also adapts”, you smile, shifting your gaze to your friends in the front row, all of them watching with eyes full of pride. "It can hurt, but it keeps beating. And that means we move forward”.

And then, the lights bright again. The silence lasts only for a moment before the professor starts clapping, followed by everyone else in the room. 

But Beomgyu doesn’t move. He stays there, frozen, his eyes fixed on you, as if he were reliving something he tried so hard to forget— yet failed miserably.  

And in that moment, you knew your words had reached exactly where they needed to. 

The air inside that auditorium feels increasingly rare, Beomgyu needs to get out of there. Heading straight for his locker, he grabs his skateboard and headphones before making his way to the skate park— the only place where his mind goes blank, focusing only on what he is doing.  

The late afternoon is cold, the sky moonless, and the faint streetlights create long shadows across the empty park. Beomgyu kicks his skateboard forward, his headphones hanging around his neck, there’s no music playing. The sound of the wheels gliding over the concrete is the only thing filling the silence. He shouldn't have been in that auditorium. 

After the presentation ended, he left before anyone could come after him, but his mind is still trapped on that stage— trapped on you. The words echoes in his head:

"But the heart also adapts…

… It can hurt, but it keeps beating. And that means we move forward”.

Have you really moved on? Beomgyu runs his tongue over his lips, feeling a bitter taste in his mouth— the taste of regret. He wants to believe you have. He wants to believe your words weren’t meant for him. But then why does it feel like every single one of them had been constructed specifically to bury him deeper in his own remorse?  

He bends his knees, picking up speed, the wind cutting against his face. If he can go faster, maybe he can overtake the suffocating grip on his chest. But no matter how fast he goes, the truth always catches him up. The image of the last slide flashes through his mind: his drawing. You still have it. You still see meaning in it. 

His gaze shifts to the flickering park lights, his chest rising and falling in an uneven rhythm. Your words came back like a punch to the gut:

"It feels like something inside us has physically broken. Because, in a figurative way, it has”.  

Your heart had broken— because of him. The realization hit harder than any fall he ever took. And then, as if his body had decided to punish him, the skateboard’s wheel get stuck on a crack in the pavement. 

The impact comes too fast. 

He doesn’t even have time to react before the world starts spinning, his weight pushing him forward, his hands instinctively reaching out to stop the fall. A shock runs through his arm as soon as he hits the ground, his body sliding against the rough concrete. His skateboard rolled away, stopping only when it hit the park’s railing. Beomgyu stays there, immobile, eyes fixed on the ring around his finger— completely meaningless. He doesn’t know what hurt more— the sting of the fresh wound on his skin or the certainty that he lost something he might never get back.  

The cold pavement chills him to the bone, still he doesn’t move. His chest rises and falls in short, uneven breaths. The adrenaline masks the pain for a moment, but then it comes back in waves. His arm burns and his shoulder throbs in a way that makes his stomach turn. He closes his eyes shut. Idiot— that’s what he is. An idiot for thinking he could just let you go and feel nothing. An idiot for realizing too late that he will never be able to convince himself that you were just a summer distraction.  

He takes a deep breath in, trying to compose himself, but the moment he pushes up on his right arm to get up, a sharp jolt of pain spreads through his shoulder, forcing a low groan from his lips. “Shit…”, he rolls on his side, body tense with pain and lays there for a few more seconds, staring at his skateboard standing a few feet away.  

Different from when he fell the day he met you, there’s nothing to laugh about right now.

That’s how one of the guys of the skatepark finds him— sprawled on the ground with a blank expression, like the fall had hurt something beyond just his body, “Dude, are you okay?”. Beomgyu blinks a few times before responding, his throat dry, “I’m great”. The attempt of sarcasm is weak. The guy doesn’t seem convinced but doesn’t push it, tho. Instead, he crouches down, grabs Beomgyu’s skateboard, and offers him a hand. 

Beomgyu hesitates before accepting the help, pulling himself up with a grimace. The pain in his right shoulder is unbearable, and he knows something isn’t right, “You should go to the hospital”, the guy suggests, arms crossed. Beomgyu let out a short, humorless laugh, “I don’t need to”. But the moment he takes a step forward, his body wavers, pain spreading through every fiber of his being, “Great”, he mutters. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he needs help. 

And that’s exactly why, less than an hour later, he finds himself sitting in one of the hospital’s cold hallways, his arm resting on his lap, the cut on his elbow covered by his flannel shirt. The hospital smells like disinfectant and melancholy. Beomgyu watches the nurses and patients passing by, his head still spinning— but not from the fall. Because of you. Always because of you. 

And then, as if the universe decided to make his night even worse, he hears a familiar voice echoing down the corridor— your voice. His heart skips a beat. He looks up at the exact moment you appear at the reception desk, worry written all over your face as you speak to the nurse behind the counter, “Sorry, but what’s the patient’s name?”, she asks.

You are there. And just behind you, Soobin and Taehyun, who exchange tense glances. Beomgyu clenches his jaw, fingers tightening around the chair's armrest. When he called Soobin, he didn’t expect him to bring you along. The last thing he needs is you to see him like this.  

But it is already too late, your eyes finally meet his. For a moment, neither of you move. Beomgyu’s heart pounds against his ribs, your words still hammering in his head:

 “It can hurt, but it keeps beating. And that means we move forward”.

But he hadn’t moved on. And judging by the pain in your eyes, neither had you.  

“Beomgyu?”, your voice comes out as quiet as a whisper, and then you are already walking toward him— with quick, hesitant steps. Soobin and Taehyun follow you, stopping a little behind, without saying anything.  When you stand in front of him, your eyes trail over his face, down to the cut on his elbow, and how he grasps his shoulder, “W-what happened?”. Beomgyu opens his mouth to answer but hesitates— he doesn’t  want to tell you the truth. Imagine looking into your eyes and saying: I fell because I was thinking about you. Because my mind was stuck on that damn presentation. On your smile. On your voice. 

Saying it out loud would only make it all even more real. So he just shrugs, or at least tries to, because the movement sends a sharp pain through his shoulder, making his face twist in discomfort, “It was just a fall”. You narrow your eyes, clearly unconvinced, “Just a fall!? You have a cut on your arm and you’re holding your shoulder like it’s dislocated. That’s not ‘just a fall,’ Beomgyu!”, disbelief is evident in your voice. But he looks away, “It’s not a big deal”.  

Without patience and without asking for permission, you kneel beside him, fingers lightly touching the bloodstained fabric of his flannel. He holds his breath. Your touch is gentle, but it makes something twist inside him. Your face is close enough that he can see every detail— the long eyelashes, the curve of the lips he had kissed once, now frowned in worry. And he never wanted something so badly as he wants you to look at him the way you used to.  

But then, you break the silence, pulling him from his thoughts, "Why do you always do this?", he blinks, "Do what?" "Get yourself hurt”. Beomgyu clenches his jaw, for a second, he considers answering with a joke, saying it’s because you’re always there to save him. In a dismissive tone, like he always does. But he doesn’t have that right anymore— it’s written in your eyes.

Before he can say anything, the nurse calls his name, "Do you need someone to accompany you, Mr. Choi?". He looks at the three of you, waiting, hoping that even after everything, one of you might volunteer, "Where’s your girlfriend?”, Soobin teases. "I- I didn’t call her”, Beomgyu mumbles, voice low, almost ashamed. "I’ll go with you”, you don’t say it as a suggestion or a question— it’s a statement.

 It’s not a good idea to be alone with you. But he doesn’t have the strength to say no. So he just nods. And as you both walk into the examination room, Beomgyu has the strange feeling that, no matter how shattered his body is, there’s another part of him that hurts even more.

The examination room is small, with white walls and bright lighting. Beomgyu sits on the examination table, watching you in silence as the nurse cleans the cut on his arm. You don’t say anything, but your shoulders are tense, arms crossed as if trying to shield yourself from something. The tension is palpable. When the nurse finishes bandaging him up, she lets him know that the doctor will be there soon to examine his shoulder. 

As soon as she leaves, you take a step forward, finally breaking the silence. “Are you going to tell me now what really happened?”. Beomgyu exhales sharply and looks away, “I already told you, I just fell” “Beomgyu”, you say his name firmly. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to ignore the feeling of drowning. When he opens them again, you're still there, waiting. Even when he doesn't deserve it.  

He runs his tongue over his dry lips before murmuring, “I was distracted”, you frown, “By what?”. He hesitates but decides to tell the truth before he can stop himself, “You”.

The silence that follows is deafening. You blink, startled, “What?!”. Beomgyu lets out a humorless chuckle, running a hand through his hair, “I was thinking about your presentation”. He lifts his gaze to meet yours, his voice low, almost defeated, “Your words, mainly”. You don’t say anything, but he notices the way your breathing falters. He laughs again, shaking his head, “About how the heart adapts. How it suffers but keeps beating”. He swallows hard, then looks at you as if finally admitting to himself something he had been denying for months, “But mine didn’t”.

The air between you grows heavier.  

You part your lips, but no words come out. So he continues, his voice rough now, “I thought forgetting you was the right thing to do. That it would be easier”. He lets out a short, bitter laugh, “But it’s not. If anything, it’s worse”. Your eyes shimmer, and Beomgyu doesn’t know if it’s from the light or something else.  

You finally break the silence, your voice soft but steady, “Then why did you do it?”. Beomgyu’s chest tightens, “Because I was scared”, he runs a hand down his face, exhausted— running away from you is exhausting. “I was scared of hurting you. Of not being enough for you and then losing you, Yn”. He laughs at his own stupidity, “I was terrified of you losing you, but in the end, I just ended up hurting both of us, didn’t I?”. You keep looking at him, your gaze piercing through all the walls he tried to build. When you finally speak, your voice is a whisper, “Yes. Yes, you did”.  

He opens his mouth to say something, to tell you how sorry he is, when the door opens, and the doctor walks in. And just like that, it ends with words stuck in his throat. Beomgyu closes his mouth, swallowing everything he still wants to say. You take a step back, arms crossing over your chest again.  

“So, Choi Beomgyu, right?”, the doctor glances at the papers, “Looks like you got lucky. The shoulder isn’t dislocated, just a bad bruise. I’ll prescribe an anti-inflammatory and recommend some rest for a few days. No skating for the next 2 months”. Beomgyu lets out a small relieved grin, “That’s good”. You remain silent, but he can feel your gaze burning into him. “I’ll ask the nurse to bring your discharge papers”. The doctor gives a brief nod and leaves, once again leaving you two alone.  

The silence returns.  

Beomgyu looks down at the bandage on his arm, flexing his elbow slowly. He knows he has to say something before it’s too late, “Yn…”, you lift your eyes, “I know that…” “Why did you go?”. Your question catches him off guard. You cross your arms tighter, as if holding yourself together, “To the presentation. You weren’t supposed to be there. But you showed up anyway”. Beomgyu blinks, “I…”, he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “Because I missed you. I needed to see you” “Did you at least get what you wanted?”. The pain and resentment in your voice are so sharp it physically hurts him. 

Beomgyu shakes his head, “No. I know it was selfish of me” “You hurt me, Beomgyu, you know that?”. He closes his eyes for a moment, the weight of guilt pressing down on him like a burden too heavy to bear, “I know”. When he opens his eyes again, his voice is raw, honest, “And I hate myself for it”   

Your shoulders tremble slightly, but you hold yourself firm. Beomgyu inhales deeply before continuing, “I ran away because I thought it would be easier for you. But watching you move on without me… it’s unbearable. I don’t want to pretend I don’t care anymore. That I don’t…”. He stops, his throat tightening. You wait, knowing that pushing him won’t help. But then Beomgyu forces the words out, even though they hurt, “That I don’t love you” 

You don’t move, don’t blink, just stare at him like you’re trying to process what you just heard. Beomgyu exhales, feeling like he just ripped something open inside him, “Because I do”. His voice falters, overflowing with emotions, “And I’m an idiot for only admitting it now”  

You blink a few times, trying to push back the tears. What is left to say after a confession like that? 

Suddenly the nurse walks in with the discharge papers, and the moment is broken, giving you time to think, “I need you to sign here, please”. Beomgyu takes the pen, his hand trembling slightly as he signs. When he’s done, he looks at you again, waiting— waiting for any reaction. But you only avoid his gaze and murmur, “Let’s go. I’ll take you home”.  

Beomgyu nods, swallowing hard. He still didn’t have an answer, but you didn't yell, didn't hit him, or threw anything at him, which had to be a good sign. Or at least, he liked to think so.  

And maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance— a chance to get you back. 

The silence in the car is heavy, dense— just like it  in the hospital. You keep your eyes fixed on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, while Beomgyu watches you from the corner of his eye, his body aching against the seat. "You drive too fast”, he comments, breaking the silence.  

You scoff but don't slow down, "And you skate like you have 9 lives”. Beomgyu smirks, "Maybe I just like the adrenaline" "Or maybe you’re just stupid". He lets out a low chuckle, "Strong possibility". Your grip even tighter on the wheel, "Are you mad at me?". His voice is more serious now.

You bite your lip but don't answer. Beomgyu leans in slightly, ignoring the pain in his shoulder, "If it’s because of what I said in the hospital, I…" "It’s not just about what you said, Beomgyu!”, you cut him off, frustration thick in your voice, "It’s about everything. About how you left. About how you came back. About how...". Your voice fades, your fingers loosening on the wheel.  

Beomgyu watches as your throat moves when you swallow hard. This time, he waits for you. Until you exhale slowly and, for the first time, turn your head to look at him, "You can’t just disappear, destroy me, and then come back saying you love me like that’s supposed to fix everything”. Beomgyu’s chest tightened, fear swallowing him whole, "I know". You scoff again, “Do you?” "Yes", he wets his lips, "But I’m still here, trying, ain't I?". He leans in a little more, his face now dangerously close to yours, "And so are you”.

Your jaw clenches, "Don’t test me, Beomgyu”. He smiles, "Why not?" "Because I’m still mad” "I like  when you’re mad”, he murmurs, his voice low— almost like he was testing you. "You look sexy like this”. You turn to face him fully, your gazes locking for the first time in what felt like forever. And there it is— the tension that always existed between you, the spark that never went out.  

Your eyes flicker down to his lips, and Beomgyu notices. The corner of his mouth lifts slightly, "You miss me”, he taunts, voice slow, provocative. "I don’t”, you lied. Beomgyu lets out a soft laugh, "You’re such a bad liar, babygirl”. 

The nickname triggers something in you— the last night of the trip, your first and only time together. 

Your fingers abruptly let go of the wheel as you suddenly park the car, hitting the brakes hard. Beomgyu’s body jerks forward slightly, but he barely notices. Because the next thing he sees is you turning to him, breathing heavily, "You wanna know what I feel?", you ask, your eyes burning into him. He doesn't answer, he just holds your gaze, his fingers unconsciously gripping the fabric of his ripped jeans.  

You lean in, "I feel anger, I feel frustration", your face is even closer now, "I feel like...". You stop, your lips hovering just a breath away from his. 

But Beomgyu doesn't move. Doesn't even breathe. "Like what?", he murmurs, voice almost a whisper. Your gaze flickers to his lips again. 

And then, you let out a shaky breath, close your eyes for a second, and... pull back. Beomgyu blinks, surprised, already missing the warmth of your breath.  

You turn back to the wheel, start the engine again, and let out a short laugh, like you are mocking yourself, "I’m not falling for this again”, you say more to yourself than to him.  

Beomgyu watches you in silence for a moment. Then, he leans back in his seat and smirks, satisfied, "Let’s see how long that lasts".

With Beomgyu, you felt everything:

The euphoria of falling in love for the first time,

the shy giggles,

the tension between your bodies,

the sweaty hands,

the pounding heart,

the constant tingling in your stomach.

One hundred times. 

And still, he manages to still make you feel like that over and over again.

The car comes back to the road, but now, the electricity in the air between you is almost asphyxiating. 

He glances down at his hands, the moonlight catching the silver ring on his finger. Without a second thought, he grips at it with the little strength he had left and yanks it off, tossing it out the window without looking back.  

Your lips parts slightly, disbelief flickering across your face.  

And in that moment, you both know.  

It isn’t over.  

It never has been.

EPILOGUE:

The evening breeze blows softly, rustling the leaves around the skatepark. The sky is painted in shades of orange, and you wonder— not for the first time— how the hell you had let Beomgyu convince you to do this.  

You look at the skateboard in front of you, hesitant. Knee pads, elbow pads, helmet— you looked more prepared for battle than for skating. Beomgyu, on the other hand, watches everything with evident amusement, "You look like you're about to face the apocalypse, not just learn how to skate", he teases, leaning casually against the railing, arms crossed, a mischievous smile curving his lips.  

"Easy for you to say", you shoot back, eyeing the board suspiciously, "You're not the one who is risking falling and breaking your teeth". He chuckles, pushing off the railing to step closer. The warmth of his presence is almost tangible as he stops behind you, his hands settling gently on your shoulders, "Don't worry, princess", he murmurs, way too close to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine, “If you fall, I'll catch you”.  

Before you can say anything, his hands slide down to your waist, delicate yet firm, making your breath hitch for a second. He leans in slightly, lips hovering just near your ear, "Relax. You trust me, don’t you?". You scoff, trying to ignore the heat rising to your face, "You're the first to laugh when I fall. Don’t play the nice guy now”.

 Beomgyu smirks, his hands slowly gliding down your arms before gripping them firmly, "Trust me”, he whispers, his voice low and lazy, carrying that usual calm tone that makes your heart pick up speed. "Put one foot on the board… yeah, just like that. Now relax” "Relax?!". You let out a dry laugh as he slides one hand back to your waist, his fingers pressing lightly against your side, "I'm about to eat the pavement, and you want me to relax?".

He dips his head closer to your ear, his smile practically audible, "You'll be fine. I promise". You take a deep breath, trying to ignore the way his touch sends warmth coursing through your chest. His hand still guides yours as he adjusts your posture, positioning you just right before stepping back, his gaze following your every move.  

"Now, just push off slowly with your back foot and let the board slide". You follow his instructions, but the second you try to move forward, the skateboard shakes beneath your feet. Your heart skips a beat, and you instinctively grab his arm. Beomgyu laughs, clearly enjoying himself, "Look at that, already holding onto me? We haven’t even started yet" "I swear, if you tease me one more time, I…” "You’ll do what?". He cut in, leaning even closer, his eyes sparkling with challenge, "Knock me over? Because honestly, I think you're the one who's gonna hit the ground first”. You stare at him, your stomach twisting in the most frustrating way possible. Beomgyu has this effect on you— he knows exactly how to push you to the edge. But you aren't going to give him the satisfaction. 

So instead of responding, you let go of his arm, fix your posture and, taking a deep breath, push off with your back foot. The skateboard rolls smoothly, and you feel the balance settle into your body.  

For a moment, there is silence. Then Beomgyu smiles, walking alongside you, his hands hovering near your sides— not touching, but close enough for you to know that he is there, ready to catch you at any moment. "Look at you, already mastering it", he teases you, his voice carrying amusement. "It's only because you're still holding on”,  you shoot back. "Oh, really?”, he raises an eyebrow, the challenge glinting in his brown eye, "Are you telling me to let go?" "No!", you answer way too fast, and he laughs. "So just admit it”,  he leans in, his nose almost brushing your cheek, "You like it when I hold you like this”.  

Your face burns, and you bump your shoulder into him lightly, "Shut up and teach me properly” "Yes, ma'am!”. He grins, his hands returning to your waist, thumbs subtly brushing over the fabric of your shirt. His laughter is light, effortless— just like everything the two of you had always been.  

And between the teasing and laughter, you realize it isn't just about learning how to skate. It is about how, after everything, he is still there. About how his hands find yours at the right moments. About how his laugh is the last thing you hear before falling— and the first thing pulling you back into his arms. 

In the end, you never really needed him to hold you.  

But still, he did.

[marigraphia]

I've had this pose ref saved for a while and the Superman set photos just gave off the same energy 👉🏻👈🏻

The reference is this photo of Katharine Hepburn as Antiope and Colin Keith-Johnston as Theseus in the 1932 play 'The Warrior's Husband' (and I'd love for people to turn into a draw your otp meme pls pls pls this pose is so good)

And also, of course, the Superman (2025) set photos

[constarlations]

🍊 Big Sis Nemona 🍊

my favorite Unovan/Latina Pokémon trainer ever created

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